Li Fen is HELPLESS;

Leaving home once again.

2011-08-07T14:52:00.002+08:00

In about 4 days time,I'll be heading back for Nilai. It's kinda too early but it makes no difference as well. I decided to leave Miri earlier since there's been problems with my degree programme. I hate it, but I have no choice. My dad knows I'm striving hard to survive studying alone away from home, and was kinda sorry that it happened too. He made a deal with me saying that if I completed a degree in International Business, he'd sponsor me a Master's degree in BA.

Of course, I was glad about that, but I didn't want to burden him too much because my brother would be starting his tertiary education soon enough too. As a matter of fact, he'd be coming to IIU next January. Man, time does fly without you knowing much :( I'm going to try my best to get a scholarship again :( And if possible, I want a full one. In order to do that, I'll just have to try harder this time.

I'm thinking of closing this blog and moving to another one. There's too many harsh memoirs and rendevouz in this one.

HYPERTENSION

2011-08-03T19:02:00.003+08:00

I feel so tensed nowadays :( Is it because of my course problems? PMS? Flight date? Or is it because of the effin' huge load I have to go through just for the Insurance company registration? :( I'm sad. I don't know why I have mood swings. I swear a lot these two days and I'm just so damn frustrated. I hate those time of the months! GRRR.

BIG SAD FACE! AAAAAAAAAAAA

My comeback!

2011-08-02T22:40:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps! I just got back from a crazy trip with my family to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. We went there by car. And yes, I experienced pain in my butt after an 8 hours drive there and another back to Miri! My cousin, Peter and my best friend from secondary school, Ah Loo also tagged along. Ah Loo did a splendid job as a tour guide. Hahaha, she knows the best places to have fun. It's overall tiring but definitely HELL LOTS OF FUN :D

We went to Pulau Manukan, Mt. Kinabalu, catched a 3D movie, got some great food and last but not least did lots and lots of shopping! :) We went to Centre Point, One Borneo, Suria KK and some souvenir shops and man, was I satisfied. I even got that watch and Vivi-style hat I always wanted and a bunch of new graphic tees :) I feel so content ;)

Btw, click here for photos in my facebook. You have to be my friend to be able to see it though ;)

BIG. SAD. FACE.

2011-07-15T10:55:00.003+08:00

I hope my life doesn't get ruined any much more.

BAD MANAGEMENT.

2011-07-14T16:06:00.003+08:00

INTI closed down Financial Planning :(
It's a disappointment.
A BIG. FAT. DISAPPOINTMENT.

I'm forced to reschedule my financial plans and study plans.
The original one HAD TO BE FORFEITED.
WTF. WTF. WTF.
I guess I'll go for IB and get myself a MBA.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Paranoia

2011-07-13T10:09:00.002+08:00

For the past 2 nights, I was paranoid enough to count the questions I answered in PCEIA without doubt and it wasn't even a handful. I consoled mum about this because it'd kinda suck if I failed even though I studied my arse off for it. I mean, all the middle-aged people there studied everything the night before, if they can live off and survive with that, I think I could? Anyways, let's say if the worst case scenario being that I failed the friggin' test occured, I'd have to retake it on 6th August :( And I'll come to know how everything goes on 23rd July which is like in 10 days? Awwwww. My tummy feels bad whenever anxiety overwhelms me in such awkward situations.

Anyways, yesterday I went out with ♥Theresa and Gan Lin for a hearty MacD breakfast in the morning. I was glad I didn't oversleep and Theresa didn't had to wait too long? LOL. After that, I stalked Theresa to Curtin Uni, she wanted to see which section she was in for her current semester but I guess the management kinda scammed her in a sense. Then after that, we went to Jeremy's workplace at Boulevard Shopping Complex to bug him and have lunch with him. We took sticker photos (sort of a tradition we do all the time but it's been a long time since we took a new one). We had fun with it even though the machine kinda sucked at the store, probably because due to lack in maintenance? The touch screen precision was seriously waaaaaaaaaay OFF. Later, Theresa and I shopped around in Parkson, window shopped, to be exact and we grabbed a couple of drinks at my mum's shop after we left Parkson.

After mum finished her work, we went to take our passport photos for our passport renewals. I looked horrible in it because I had to show my forehead and ears and eyebrows and make sure my shirt isn't imbalanced in any way :( that sucked. Mum's gonna pick it up today so I hope it doesn't look that horrible :( And if you're wondering what's the passport for, at the end of July, dad's gonna bring us to KK by car, so we had to pass through KB, Brunei in order to get there. Hopefully, I don't get tanned during that trip. (I'm serious about this, I am not getting myself down in the water)

Oh, btw, I had an interview for the 16th Term INTIMA Leo Club Recruitment. I think it was okay because I got the post I applied for at 1st choice, VP. I hope I get to learn more with the entire 16th Term :) This should be an enriching journey for me!

DOOMSDAY/BERSIH?

2011-07-09T16:04:00.003+08:00

Hi peeps! I'm officially released from the pressurizing atmosphere of exams! I finished them just now but it made me pissed at the AmAssurance lady, Ms. Annie Liew = = Not only she made an obvious typo in my examination permit but she also effin' failed to inform me in bringing a copy of my MyKad for identification purposes. I was kinda humiliated by the invigilator when she told me I'm supposed to bring one otherwise I'm not allowed to get my examination results = = I take back the regretful feeling of misunderstanding her as bad OL. She IS a bad OL!

Anyways, I'm finally free from all this crap and my holidays are finally starting now. I finally can relax without guilt out of my procrastination acts. However, I'm kinda worried I wouldn't pass as well, I spent a week reading but I can't seem to memorize everything. This proves the homey environment really does slow down my studying abilities and speed :( Therefore, I made a wise decision to study away from home!

I am now waiting for my dad to come back from KK for his industrial training course. After that, I'll need to get ready for my long anticipated vacation in KK :) But.... I don't really want to get tanned. So.. GOOD LUCK to me for my attempt to save my skin comlexion from darkening even more!

This is my FACEBOOK profile pic for the day :) To commemorate the Bersih protest today in West M'sia and also to show my support for a better government system :)

In the midst of anxiety..

2011-07-05T14:42:00.002+08:00

I'm at Coffee Bean, Parkson now with my newly reformatted Acer D250 netbook (credits to Ryan Hung!), Ice blended vanilla and chocolate cashew nut cookie :) I am still struggling and trying to finish up my remaining chapters for my PCEIA examinations which is just around the corner :( On the 9th of July, I engage in a doomsday war again. I don't know how many brain cells I have killed for the past few days. I always end up dozing off reading halfway through the policy conditions. What makes things worse is the AmAssurance lady made a typo in my examination slip :( I am now "Ho Liu Fen". Wth...

Yesterday, my house's modem died and relived. It was raining in the morning and rain water sipped through the ceiling in my brother's room. Hence, dripping into the modem's internal parts. I think it sorta overheated at some point and stopped working. Time crawls like a friggin' snail-tortoise crossbreed when internet is gone. I told mum about it and I guess my brother wasn't really pleased about the whole issue. At night, he told me the modem's working again (miraculously) and he was already ready for a game of Blackshot. I was surprised to a certain extent but I guess I had nothing to lose. YAY for the immortality of my modem! :D

I hope my memory doesn't fail me this Saturday afternoon when the exam comes. jyjy!

An air ticket back to your arms.

2011-06-26T21:35:00.002+08:00

For the past two weeks, I'd been lifelessly moping around home without a specific aim. I do realize and am very much aware of my current situation (I have a test coming soon in less than 2 weeks). However, this is just sick. I can't embrace my soul/sole supporter of my life, I can only see/hear him virtually. I'm growing love sick but I must endure the remaining time I have to spend in Miri. Tomorrow will be the day I buy my air ticket to reach back into your warm, solitude embrace.
I miss you so, so much..

Gatherings :)

2011-06-21T10:41:00.004+08:00

Even though I'd already stepped foot in Miri, I am still unable to wake up early like a Mirian should :( I slept for12 hours straight ever since last night :( Last night, I went to Sajian Warisan for Satay with the gang (finally!) but I was late because Jeremy Ting was late. LOL. So everybody kinda blamed him for being a slowpoke. Oh! And I only knew I made a mistake in sendingthe venue name earlier. I told everyone it was Sajian Impian. LOL.

Theresa, Livia, Amber, CC, Jeremy, Shamus, Jia Chee, Ronny, Adrian, Hui Ling and Felix were all there, we're only missing with Chea Arn. Nonetheless, we had fun and enjoyed catching up with each other. I bet we were the noisiest there. The ah bengs and uncles all around consistently shot us with their best "STFU" look. But I think we didn't notice though.

Livia and Amber had to leave early so we said bye to them. After that, everyone wanted to continue for a 2nd round since some of us wasn't full enough yet. After half an hour of discussing and giggling, we decided to change our location to Citrus. Again, we spent another 1 hour and a half or so giggling and eating through it :) With air-conditioner this time.

Later Ronny's gonna pick Theresa and I up and bring us to Huiling's for movie time ^^

I hate the " - " symbol!

2011-06-18T01:10:00.002+08:00

I got my results last midnight and I failed my own expectations. My parents were kinda disappointed I didn't retain my position in the President's List this semester :( I was short by 1-5 marks for my Accounting paper and it costed me my dreams :( It was a bloody A-! Why? Was it because that I had no Accounting background? Was it because I didn't have sufficient practice? Was it because I misunderstood the question? Or was it that I'm just that "talented" in screwing things up? :'(

But I'm grateful enough because the subject that I had been worrying the most turned out unexpectedly satisfactory. I got an A for my Macroeconomics, it's pretty out of the blue since completing the paper was the most torturing 2 hours I have ever had. The questions all required critical thinking and problem solving and for many moments, I was pretty stunned by the questions.

Nonetheless, I am still grateful my hard work sort of paid off even though my targets weren't achieved. I guess I should work harder next semester and try again to apply for another scholarship next year :( I don't want to burden my parents anymore.

Nosebleed :(

2011-06-17T22:08:00.002+08:00

Have been having random nosebleeds occasionally throughout the week after my arrival in Miri. And my nose bled twice today, my mum initially wanted to wait for tomorrow to bring me to the doctor for further consultation but instead, after a while, I didn't know what got to her, but she came home and brought me to Columbia Asia Medical Health Center. The last time I went there was to treat me vigorous migraine attack :(

I registered myself in for some screening and consultation while my mum popped bubble on her new cellphone. I was number 40 in line whilst the screen showed number 32, which kinda means I need to wait for a long, long time. Plus, I overheard the lady next to me saying she's number 36 and she had been waiting for an hour. Gosh.. The medical center was sooo cold and I just had to wear slippers there :(

By the time it was my turn, I already waited for an hour. But I think it was actually already a short wait when compared to Lady No.36 :) My mum let me see the doctor alone since she assumed I could tell the doctor what's wrong with my nostrils myself. When I stepped in, to my surprise the Indian lady doctor kinda resembled my CSC1207 lecturer, Ms. Kalaivani. Even her tone and gestures were kinda similar. The only thing different was she had more weight. hehe

My medicine included some nasal spray that scared the hell out of me just now when I tried to used it and a pack of flu medicine. And that was it.

Oh, btw, I think we were all kinda scammed last night because we all thought our results were gonna come out at midnight last night but it turned out it was a fake alert. INTI gave us a fake call :( So, we'll be guessing it's gonna come out tonight. I can already feel the trauma because I think I didn't really did well for some of the papers. Well, when worst comes to worst, I hope I'm fully prepared mentally and physically for it. However, a lot of us speculated that it isn't tonight as the lecturers told them that there might be "minor" delays for the release of our results, so here goes.

GREEN LANTERN

2011-06-16T22:46:00.005+08:00

Today, for the very first time from my recent return in Miri, I went out with more than 1 of my friends. Theresa came to pick me up after she went to Curtin and we met up with the others afterward. I didn't know there was a new Nasi Lemak stall called Naga Liar Restaurant opposite Nine 2 Five. And I didn't know I can't even finish one bowl of Seaweed soup :( I didn't know there were newly built pedestrian bridges in Morsjaya and Boulevard. And I didn't knew there was soooooooooo many new stores in the city D:

*Gasp* ! It really does seem to be a long, long time since I last came back and it was only like 4 months :( I already missed out sooo much in 4 months :( I watched Green Lantern at the new Star Cineplex in Merdeka Mall just now at 7.15pm. It was interesting, lots of childish but funny, intended puns in the movie. I could imagine how terrifying and realistic the after effects would be if the movie was available in 3D in Miri. Too bad that's not gonna happen until the end of this year. Well, nonetheless, it has a logical storyline and it carries a positive influence indicating that Strong will will always fight off your greatest fears. Hopefully that'd work in real life.

I actually thought Green Lantern was some horror movie the Japanese came out with because the movie title was associated with a lantern BUT it turned out to be a Marvel superhero movie. Silly me :p Theresa and Derrick was laughing at me for this. LOL, this kinda shows how much I haven't been updated regarding the latest showcase and media. I haven't watch Kung Fu Panda 2, Fast 5 and the Pirates of Carribean 4. How sad is that? Screw assignments and tests :'(

Oh btw, our final results should be out today or tomorrow midnight, I'm not quite sure. Hmmm. I can't fully trust intionline's sources anymore since they always fail to meet my expectations when I need it. INTI always fail to fulfill our needs when we need them the most and when we are promised with it. Another example of a similar scenario would be the time when the Accomodation Office told us we couldn't continue living in our rooms during our room booking session, it inflicted a lot of impact between my parents and I and gosh, it made me so damned confused.

Hopefully my results would turn out the way I hoped it would be, not too off my expectations :( I'm so worried now :'(

A Constant Source of Disappointment

2011-06-15T14:33:00.004+08:00

I never knew I could make you this disappointed.
I'm sorry and I know my tears are just bullshit now.
I hope you still have faith in me because it looks like you lost most of it.
Please, don't hate me; don't leave me.

2011-06-13T09:47:00.004+08:00

LICENSE

EXAM

IS ON

9TH JULY 2011,

1430-1630 :(

HAVE

LESS

THAN

1 MONTH

TO STUDY

26 CHAPTERS OF

MALAYSIAN

INSURANCE.

~~FML~~

Disappointment :(

2011-06-12T20:12:00.003+08:00

I can already feel the disappointment on the 1st day of my return :( I feel like I'm not a part of everything. It's like I'm the black sheep. There's so many new things that happened and took place without me knowing it. Many were forgone and many were replaced. It's not like what it is from what I remember anymore.

I'm sure new stuff are for the better, I'm just feeling cold hearted because I wasn't part of any of this. I didn't get the even share of sharing anything else. It's just kinda sad and it gives me a big smack plus a massive cold shoulder :( What worsens it is that, there's nothing wrong with it, to them and everyone else, but not me. I don't feel like having a family to care for me. They're physically there and financially supportive but why do I feel empty? Wasn't that enough? ... I don't know.

I'm just feeling kinda down now and there's 2 months to go. Should I go to Kuching after my license exam? Or should I just head back to Nilai early?

And before this bloody day ended, I just had to blogwalk. And what I saw wasn't pretty. I should have cleaned up some eyesore-links. Some people just don't know how to appreciate and think for others. Talk only when you're able to walk in my shoes, wtf.

And for those who likes to put two and two together to fabricate stories, grow up and get a life. Don't be so self-centered and think that I'll be writing about you. I have better things to do and you have no damned idea what happened to me, what I have to go through and how it feels! Being a part of something that makes you sad is tiring. Being a part of something that soothes you makes life much more easier and obviously, you're not the latter. The others might be, but you're not. And I hate you for criticizing my actions. Oops, did I say that? Well, don't try to act smart, whore. I'm not talking about anyone. I'M JUST RAMBLING! HELL! I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO MYSELF ONLINE????!!!!!!

I'm comin' home.

2011-06-11T15:20:00.003+08:00

I'm currently at LCCT's McDonald's waiting for Derrick to get our order. My time with him is running out before we part with each other for the 2 month gap. Of course, going home isn't something bad for me, I want to go home. And at the same time, I want him to be there too. I'm just greedy.. I know but if you were in our shoes you'd know how it feels.

My degree only starts in mid August. I still have to fuss about the amount of money I need to prepare for my fees and also the complicated procedures I need to undergo in order to pay for my accommodation expenses and also to secure my living place. I haven't check out yet :( Stupid AO won't open on Saturday mornings :( I guess 22-week Foundation students, Physiotherapy and TCM students are really THAT easy to neglect just because of our difference in semester length.

Btw, I forgot to update about my birthday that happened to be one of the days us business students get caught up with our accounting finals :D The paper was hard, can't help with any of that anymore. And Macroeconomics was a bloody hell for us too and it just had to be the last paper! :( Most of us wasn't motivated to study the night before due to the over excitement we were experiencing at the eve prior to our last paper to graduate from our foundation studies.

Anyways, back to my birthday. I was quite shocked and delighted that Kong and Chuaci bought me a cake with a lit candle on it. I got to made my 1st birthday wish for the ocassion because of that. The overwhelming wishes from my friends and family was very heartwarming as well, I really appreciate it and it made me feel special. Nonetheless, it was a simple yet unforgettable birthday. I can bet that not many of you get to spend your birthday cramming for your finals! haha. That didn't sound attractive but still, beat that! ha! XD

My Happy Meal is on my way so I'll stop here :) More updates will come (hopefully) after I have stepped foot in my hometown, Miri :)

3 down. 2 to go!

2011-06-07T20:25:00.002+08:00

It's the 2nd day of my finals but still none of us could feel the trauma and pressure around us. The atmosphere was awkwardly relaxed. Some of us thought it was because of the continuous hectic outbreaks of assignments, tests and presentations marathons that made us felt numb about the whole 'final' thing while some concluded that it was because the overall syllabus for the current semester is less of a burden, probably because we had less subjects and chapters to worry about as compared to the previous semester. Well, we still need to study though it's not like it's gonna be easy to pass D:

I'm already done with my ENL1214, MAT1213 and MGT1208. The remaining 2 final papers are MGT1209 and ECO1204. Hope everything goes the way I want it to and please, please, please, note to self, don't make anymore funny and obvious careless mistakes!! Another shocking news is, the results of the exam papers we're taking now will be out next Friday, 17/06/2011 00:00am sharp on Eramis! OMGEEE. Too fast for us to handle! :(

Btw, I turn 19 tomorrow. I have a funny feeling that's different from before. For my past birthdays, I was always very conscious of how people react towards it and minded a lot if someone close forgot about it. Come to think of it, it's kinda pointless and childish but maybe I just wanted to feel special for that very one day every year. Anyways, I don't think that's important anymore D: I have my accounting final paper tomorrow and it's gonna blow my mind if I don't study my ass off after this blog post D: !!

Plus, I already feel very special :) At least I mean something to someone♥ And for me that's more than enough at the moment. He's always there for me and never gets angry for me too long, even if I made silly mistakes that frustrates him sometimes. He promised to bring me out after the finals to make it up to me :) I'm very looking forward to it. Love him lots! :*

Anyways, for those who are in the same situation as me now, let's fight together for our finals! Gambateh! :) After this, we'll all be on a holiday for at least 1 month plus :)

;)

Never there When I need it the Most.

2011-06-05T23:25:00.002+08:00

Ever since I started studying away from home, I felt like I'm the odd one out in the family. When I go home, I don't even get my room back. Whatever changed in the house was never told to me. All I could see and notice was the happy smiles and joyous moments my family captured on facebook, without me there. For that, I guess it was just part and parcel of living away from home. But to think that my phone calls were deterred/ignored/put off by excuses and my problems were left for me to sob over/settle on my own/redirected to another person, I just don't feel it anymore.

You do financially support me and nurture me through my childhood and adolescence. However, I don't feel appreciated. No matter how much I strive and struggle to show you and try to make you proud, you just don't seem to give a damn on the spot but I always see you shining of you smile in glory when the praises come in. If I fall, no one catches; if I rise, it's supposed to be like that. WTF, I'm not born to please everyone k? I have feelings and limitations too. I'm not everything, I'm just.. me.

Remember the last time I was stuck in the airport? Did you remember what you say or even what you did? Remember that time when I told you the accommodation office won't let me live in the hostel if I don't pay extra? Remember the time I told you I needed someone to talk to? Remember all tha things you did not say/tell/do to make me feel safe and secure? I'm the girl who grew up with you, you should at least know I'm THAT fragile. But thanks to all this, I realized I could still manage it all on my own. I'm still strong enough to hold on even if it isn't really okay out here.

Thanks for not really being there for me, I grew harder, better, faster, stronger!

The Invasionary Attack of the Final Papers :(

2011-06-04T21:52:00.002+08:00

After days and days of procrastination and half-studying, I guess we're all kinda pooped out 'cause studying with no directions and motives at all is pretty much a killer to our brain cells. I can see the science and engineering students are engaged in a bloody tug-of-war with their chemistry textbooks. Same goes to their physics and biology :( Well, been there, done that, and I'm very glad I switched fields D:

I'm not the kind of person who could keep on reading. 2 hours per day is my maximum extent. I cannot go beyond that. That could explain why I keep sleeping, gaming and watching videos before, in the middle and after studying. Plus, I need to munch on something while I hit the books. Studying just ain't my cup of tea :(

I hate it when I read through the lines of my study material and nothing goes in. It's like my brain shut down or something. Nothing goes in and I'm pretty sure none will come out during my exams if hat goes on D: I think most of the people here are facing the same crisis as I am (or am I the only one?), if I'm the only one feeling so... Well, I might as well dig a hole and hide throughout the whole extent of the final examinations.

When nothing goes in, we feel empty, worried, exhausted and demotivated. It kinda makes us wanna hurl or get mad. My productivity curve is on a downwards slope ever since Tuesday, imagine that D: And I'm pretty pissed that my accounting paper is on my birthday, in the middle of the finals = = So much for having a great 19th birthday :( It's just so saddening....

Can't wait to finish all of my papers and break free! And I'll be on my way home, to another stage where I have to study again.. for the insurance license. FML.

Oh well, might as well enjoy my date after my finals with Derrick. At least I have something to look forward to ;)

Procrastination D:

2011-06-03T02:01:00.002+08:00

Something's telling me that I'm not fully utilizing my study break :( For the past few days, I have broken all the rules in revising for the finals. I finished two 25 episode Anime series, even got caught in gaming for more than 2 hours per day, randomly day dream and doze off sometimes, missed extra class, slept excessively, wake up only for food and abandon my revision materials halfway through doing it = = And right now, I even have the time to blog. OMGFML!

As you can observe from my past blog posts, my blog was on an unofficial hiatus mode as I kinda got bored of blogging. I think I was too caught up with stuff like school work, events and my boyfriend. Hahaha. And right now, when I'm supposed to be sleeping/stuffing knowledge into my brain, I'm blogging the amount where I missed for the missing 4 month time period. How conventional of me to do that :D haha. I'm gonna die hard in my finals :(

Oh, btw, it kinda sucks having your birthday in the middle of the finals as well. On my birthday, I get to answer my Accounting final paper! Yay! I hate Accounting btw. Too much tideous calculations and theories. Debiting this and crediting that, lessing this and adding that, bringing down this and carrying down that.. = = Why must it be so complicated? *sad face*

I remember for the finals in my previous semester, I kinda breezed through my stuy break too, with Plants VS Zombies. LOL. But I kinda studied too since more tips were given last semester. For this semester, despite having the fact of being taught the same lecturers, they didn't give any contributing tips or hints at all. Looks like we're just gonna have to put up with it and go on with our lives :( FINALS, here I come?

先问过我，好吗？

2011-05-31T22:54:00.004+08:00

很多时候，身边的人会对你的能力和成果做出理所当然的决定和要求。这对他们来说会是你的一种“好意”，一种“协助”；在他们的潜意识里，你是不会拒绝，不会逃离，不会回避，更不会反抗的。
这种时候，你就只能一昧地自己为自己愤愤不平，自己为自己大叹不满，自己为自己感到不值得，自己讨厌着自己有多恶心，多脆弱，多没防备，多没主见。

我想告诉你，我不是你的棋子，不是你的玩偶，不是你可以利用，可以欺负的对象！每当我所做的，争取的能让你开心，让你得到你要的成果的时候，你总是理所当然地笑着，向全世界炫耀你所调教的功劳；盘算着下一步怎么走，计算着以后的我能为你改变的，能带来的利益。反之，当我受挫，失败的时候，你却把矛头指向我，将一切的过错改嫁在我身上。
我只是个还称不上大人的女孩，我的能力范围并非你想象中的那么广。请不要把门槛放得那么高，走得太累的时候，我会爬不上去的..

这个星期，是我预备下星期期末考的自习假。我向你提过了，但我不能确定你有没有记住。这几周，我的思绪里装的都是4.0，我在想，我是不是疯了？上学期的4.0已经对你们来说，是无畏的琐事；那如果这学期还能做到，你们会肯定我的努力吗？如果我过不了那个门槛，你们会不会失望，会不会斥责我呢？这无形的压力早已折腾得我喘不过气来了。我很累，我真得很累。我已经看不见可以停下的港口了。

我原以为考完试，回家了，就能开开心心地和你们一起过我19岁的生日，但是我万万想不到，你已经先送上了第一份生日礼物。今年的生日和假期，我得帮你考个保险业务员执照！考完了期末考，接踵而来的，就是得为这个执照继续拼书，考试。
还以为，假期可以不用看到书，不用烦恼，做我很久，很久没有做的事，吃我很久很久没有吃到的东西见我很久很，见我很久很久没有见到的人。但是，这些都来不及了吧？

这件事，我并不生气，因为这个考试对我来说也算是以后的一种准备，可以说是多一个武器吧？这，我还得感谢你。但唯一让我讶异和失望的是你并没有问过我的意见，正取我的同意，也并没有给我时间考虑。只是拨通电话告诉我考试时间，日期和要我准备的原因。我当时感觉我只是你扩大营业机会的小棋子，没有权利违抗，只能乖乖地遵从棋手的指示，任由你摆布。刹那间，我反应不了，拒绝不了，抵抗不了；只可以答应，我不想做不孝女..
之后，我无语，只能在晴天霹雳后挂上电话，在图书馆里自顾自地沉默，自顾自地累。我满心期待你鼓励和问候的那通电话，却换来了让我如此不堪的心绪。为什么？

我讨厌我自己的懦弱，但我无可否认，我还是敬爱你的。你为我付出的，我都知道，我都珍惜，我都尽量地用心去感觉去体会了。可是，我的待遇，总是比其他弟妹少了一些，总是不受宠爱，不受厚待。即使我登上了高峰，你们的冷冷一句：“噢，是啊？”，却总是能让我心情跌到谷底。我努力了那么多，就是不想让你们觉得把钱浪费在我身上，我拚出的成绩，得到的奖项，争取的荣耀，有哪一样不是为了让你们骄傲，让你们欢欣的？
但是，我却总是不能换来你们的赞赏，你们的赞许，和你们的认同。我的努力，牺牲和心血都白费了吗？希望我做的，还算值得。

三人之中，我长得最不起眼，没有弟弟的浓眉大眼，高挑身材；更没有妹妹白皙的皮肤，明亮的双眼。就算妹妹总是在别人面前贬低我，说我比较丑，比较矮，比较肥，我都不曾也不想埋怨。因为我知道，我的身体发肤，都是你们赐予我的，我不会嫌弃，我只会好好珍惜，好好保护。

我的朋友不多，要好的更是少只有少。我只能依赖最关切我的男朋友，只能自己坚强一些。当我需要你的时候，我不是只有要钱；有时候，我只是想和你说说话，谈谈心。请不要在我需要你的时候，匆匆忙忙地丢下一句：“我很忙。”就撇下我了，我会很伤心 :'( 至于钱，不够的时候，我会掏自己的存款，不用担心。但是，有时候，不够的也只能伸手向你要。我不想，可是我没办法..
要是我不常生病，不要老是丢三落四，老是遇上霉神，我就不需要硬着头皮麻烦你们了.. 对不起

我非常害怕你们否认我努力的一切，我担心你们觉得我做得还不够，我简直已经逼近崩溃的边缘了。我受不了:( 我需要的鼓励，安慰，心疼，关心，问候，通过电话线也传不到了。
电话的另一头只有不能违抗的命令，漠不关心的闲聊和挂上了电话的一个“嘟————”声。我已经奢望地不多了，如果可以的话，不要再让我死心。

你既然把我生为人，那就至少让我感觉到，我还有做人的尊严，还有拒绝的能力...

无题的心语♥

2011-05-26T14:45:00.005+08:00

顿时发觉，上了大学很多事情还是只能靠自己；现实还是残忍的，而我们唯一能改变的是接踵而来的努力和付出。依赖，同情和眼泪，此刻，只是几个虚假的词；很多事，不是你苦苦哀求，挽回就能有所改变的；当我们还在为了逝去的错误而懊恼与忏悔时，何不为你还拥有能力，时间和机会去创造和改变的未来大大方方地豁出去？该发生的，已经发生的，和还没来得及发生的那么多是是非非，对对错错，不值得我们花费太多的时间和思绪去评论，去分辨。这样下去只是无济于事，只会蹉跎了心力，疲惫了身心。

这两学期的大学预备班不过是我人生中一个小小的插曲。已经没有任何留恋价值的人，事，物，我是绝对不会去挽留，更不会去悉心问候，在意和理会。或许是我变了但我并没有发觉到，也或许是其他因素改变了，大家也都没察觉到。无论如何，我不会在为了不值得我珍惜的垃圾而莫名的伤感，苦恼，烦心，因为这些..都是恶心，痛苦的记忆。虽然美好的回忆也曾经短暂的弥留在大家的心中，但是大家都十分清楚。一切都已经改变了！你，我，他变得不认识了。现实的人性，真可悲。

幸亏，我不需要无谓的怜悯和虚假的关心。在这种环境中，我很庆幸地认识了值得打交道的朋友和同事。他们偶然的嘘寒问暖，远远胜过了你们所谓的“友情”。所以，我真的不需要你们的现实，不想揭开你们的假装的面具，更不想再成为你们随意利用的玩偶。

对于不知感恩和珍惜的家伙你们大可不必再恶心地假装下去了。大家互相讨厌，互相背叛，和互相指责也并非一朝一夕的事了。快回头吧！看看你背上有多少已经结疤得刀痕了，再看看究竟还有多少新鲜的刀痕还在血淋淋的滴着呢？

何来的友情？这词从来就不能用在我们彼此身上吧？大家应该不过是对方认为利用价值的棋子罢了吧？现在看穿还来得及哦。

两个星期后，我就真的，终于解脱了！

再见！假面的伙伴♥ 后会无期！再见面也记得假装不认识哦！

I've finally come to know, fake friends are just like shadows, they only freakin' appear when it's sunny. Don't ever try taking me for granted again! I'm deleting everything I ache to see and recall from my supposedly meaningful life. Good riddance and don't ever call back!

formspring.me

2011-05-18T15:07:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/lifennn

The Number Game :)

2011-01-01T11:27:00.001+08:00

ChiLyne Wong
0608-well first saw you in inti..first impression, a pretty and friendly girl and clever as well:)happy to know you. You are just so kind and always willing to help people. You are even willing to come out at midnight just to lend your notes to people. That was just so impressed.

Steven Kalang
0608) You actually put two numbers in my inbox haha... You have nice pipes. the first time i saw you, i thought you were younger than me. ahaha little girl.... am i still teddy? xD jk jk

Jr Kyo
DEAR 68.....ur my best best best best friend of the world.....hahaha...ur cute...tiny..miss u always..........................

Kasturi Madhialagan
no.68, miss cutiepie !! u're diligent, efficient, stylish n frenly ! i really like ur hair u noe ! n i think u're kinda popular among d hotties in inti ! teheeeeh !

Matthew Kong
68. you're short, and i think i lost my folder of epic photos LMAO. anyway, we WILL have porridge session before you go back! i told ms K. dy lol. i'll text you when! :)

Adeline Xteenz
68, lucky number hoh? haha! we met each other since young! we are staying so near to each other but seldom meet :( you're cute, pretty, smart, artistic and hardworking :D interesting part is the time we shared love story together :))) a good friend too! BFF 4ever =) Tell me when r u going back to KL ya :)

Terrence Ng
68: she is having a cute, and very outgoing image to me =P I added her from impac blog previously muahahaha like a stalker huh (shhhh)... Never meet in person but next semester we might have the chance =D

Sieghart Kiong
68' My 1st impression of you. Waw,you're cool and active.you have a lovely voice =) I don't know you well.. so yea.. take gd care n stay pretty. wakakaka

Calvin Chu
68: I cancel the lolita theme photography already~O: since I dont do portraits anymore~:b stay young and cute~and short~*evil grin*

Vivian Ong
68. the first time we met is in mpw class. a sweet n clever girl, suprised me when i know u r in relationship. i hv reading ur blog few times before, learnt alot vocabs there. hope u dont mind. n we r almost same height, hehe =)

Judith YanLi
`68!
You're my sister's friend. Haha.
You have a cute sister. I like her very much.
HAHAHA!

Johnny Tiong
68! Eeeee, I think we met in orientation? x) good times then ei? haha~ sweet lil girl who's absolutely not shy and outgoing, =P and I know where you're studying now muahahahahaha! nah just joking. =D hope to see you around if you're back. Happy new year in advance x)

Joshua Yoong Tze Cherng
Miss 68 you are a very good singer, wanna hear you sing one day XD you are a kind person and treats ppl well XD happy soon new year XD

Jac Jacqualine
68 :) my daughter ♥ First meet at ALS right? A "tiny gal" which has a phone bigger than her face LOL. didnt really talk much tat time and i quit pretty earlier HAHA but we met up again after few months :) miri is small hor. i love your smile gal, and also your tiny size whee :D and mummy haven see you for so long alrdy ler. when wanna hang out again? :D

Kong Bing Leek
68, you are such a talented girl. ;) I can sense that you are a playful girl but sometimes you can get really serious :O Thanks for encouraging me whenever i am down. =) *词穷了* XD

Theresa Lim
‎68, we known each other for five years and i still remember that u sat in front of me in class when i was form 2. HAHA, u're friendly, funny sometimes a little crazy. lol. pretty and cute and smart :D and i hope i have the chance to meet "him":D HAHAHA, stay sweet with him and cant wait to meet u! xoxo

Guy Williams
68 :) You're cute, and you can sing really well. :) Met yor for the first time in Inti Drama society where i entered as a student of inti and you sorta helped me cover up. I remember chatting with you a night before about it. :p Naughtyy!

Jw Lim
‎68 - short short but cute girl...hahaha :P

Charles LoveChowdermorethanyou
68, a pretty girl, cute, kawaii(o.O), cheerful, funny, intelligent, clever, the 1st time we met was when we were primary 4? Then I rmb i sit with u when I was primary 6. We both quarrel alots if not mistaken =3. A rich girl. I find out you were a funny girl, 1 more thing, you look like barbie doll, as cute as them ;D

I bid farewell to you, scandalous 2010!

2010-12-31T09:33:00.002+08:00

Before everything ends at the strike of the midnight bell, there's a lot of things I have to let down my chest and of course, lots of things that might need to be concluded before I start a new year. This is probably the main reason why I undeleted my blog. LOL. I'm currently back in my hometown, Miri. Lots had happen ever since the commence of year 2010. I can still recall counting down to the year Twenty-Ten last year. I guess time just flies without you noticing it huh? We've all grown old out of time.

First of all, I made a few life changing decisions this year and I'm certainly not regretful of everything I did. After all, I did thought it through thoroughly before doing anything stupid. For example, I quit A-levels and made a drastic change in my study scope. Yes, I got myself involved in the business studies field. Not only I was afraid of being not able to cope with the contrasted, new study materials and syllabus, I was too, afraid of being independent as I had to study abroad inWest Malaysia in order to pursue my degree in INTI-IU. I'm quite proud of myself actually, for being able to adapt to the new surroundings, environment, lifestyle and new other everything? For that, I'm glad I made a right choice. My new campus is full of opportunities and chances for me to strut my stuff. I sincerely enjoy the life as a university student there. it's just amazing how a leap in chance could do so much to me! :)

However, I'm kinda glad that I studied A-levels for 1 semester. Without that 5 months, I wouldn't be able to befriend with so many interesting, fun and loving people! I sure do miss you guys :) Through the 5 months I spent there, I matured a little when it comes to chances I should make and how life can be so unfair to people. That's just part and parcel of my growing process I guess? And I'll just have to force myself through it, with pride!

Secondly, my love life wasn't that heartwarming or romantic in anyway. I fell ad got hurt badly, lost trust and faith in someone and for the first time, actually felt deep despair and agony over some hopeless dick. Thank god there are still people who cared deeply for me and is willing to give me his all ;)

I made a lot of new friends throughout the year and for that, I'm sincerely thankful. We've been through thick and thin, shared joy and despair. We grow and mature together and last but not least, have tonnes of crazy fun together :) I truly appreciate how you guys accept me and love me for who and how I really am. I love you guys loads! ;) I'm not sure how I'm going to live without you guys ;)

I had also managed to accomplished a lot of things I never knew I could, academically wise and life wise :) I can now live on my own, have fun and still not lose my focus on my studies :)

I can't wait for the new year and the new things that are gonna welcome me with their surprising tactics. Bring it on, Twenty-Eleven ! :D

不要太爱一个人

2010-11-04T16:17:00.000+08:00

当你太爱一个人的时候，他就不会很爱你了，

因为他看准了你不会离开他，哪怕他把你伤得一塌糊涂，

他自信只要用一个爱字，就可以把一切抺平，

这样一个人是不值得你去爱的。

这样的人太过自私和功利，爱自己远胜于爱你。

他的自尊、他的骄傲、他的需要都要比你的爱来得重要。

你尽管很爱他，但你永远是他最后一个选择，

而他的心思要用在那些得不到的人和事上。

所以，他不会很爱你，

而这样一个不是很爱你，

暂时也不想用全部的心思和时间去爱你的人，

是很容易被这个世界诱惑去的，

他不属于你，不只是现在，还有未来。

爱上这样一个人，爱他越多，伤自己越深，

这样的爱会让你失去自己。

不要去宠着别人任由他来伤自己，不妨留一点爱和自尊给自己，

那么，有一天，他也许还会认真地爱上你。

一个不很爱你的人，爱上他，就意味着：

你不停地等，不停地投入自己的时间和感情，

结果只能是一个无法预知的未来。

这样的感情，不如放手。

一个不很爱你的人，你可以站在远处欣赏他，

但不要去爱他，

因为你付出的不论多少，对他都没有太大的意义，

而对你却是一种潜在的伤害。

人生太短，情太脆弱，经不起太多的伤害。

不要去试图爱一个不很爱你的人，你的爱再深，他也不懂。

要相信你自己，世界这么大，终会有一个人非常的爱你，而你也会非常的爱他。

所以，不要把自己的爱给那个不很爱你的人，

还是把它留给最爱你的那个他吧。

爱是一生的事情，需要两个人完成，

只有两个心里有爱的人，

才能牵手穿越尘世的风雨，一起走向爱的地久天长。

放弃不很爱自己的人，

让心去等待一个懂你、惜你、怜你、一如爱他自己一样爱你的人，

这样的等待，再久也值得。

2010-11-04T04:20:00.000+08:00

1、我的快乐都是微小的事情。

2、任何一件事情，只要心甘情愿，总是能够变得简单。

3、容易伤害别人和自己的，总是对距离的边缘模糊不清的人。

4、渴望占有愈多而愈脆弱。

5、没有欲望只能说是麻木不仁。

6、短暂的瞬间，漫长的永远。

7、鸟的翅膀在空气里振动。那是一种喧嚣而凛冽的，充满了恐惧的声音。一

种不确定的归宿的流动。

8、人的寂寞，有时候很难用语言表达。

9、总是需要一些温暖。哪怕是一点点自以为是的纪念。

10、感情有时候只是一个人的事情。和任何人无关。爱，或者不爱，只能自

行了断。

11、伤口是别人给与的耻辱，自己坚持的幻觉。

12、我大概是一只鸟。充满了警觉，不容易停留。所以一直在飞。

13、痛彻心扉的爱情是真的，只有幸福是假的。那曾经以为的花好月圆......

爱情只是宿命摆下的一个局。

14、我的世界是寂静无声的，容纳不下别人。

15、像我这样的女人，总是以一个难题的形式出现在感情里。

16、我们可以失望，但不能盲目。

17、在这个世界上，所有真性情的人，想法总是与众不同。

18、我总是以为自己是会对流失的时间和往事习惯的。不管在哪里，碰到

谁。以什么样的方式结束。

19、幸福始终充满着缺陷。

20、但是快乐太单纯，所以容易破碎。

21、我从来不自欺欺人。我只看真实。

22、聪明的女子值得同情。

23、一个女子的寂寞就是这样的不堪一击。如果一个男人对我伸出手。如果

他的手指是热的。她是谁对我其实已经并不重要。

24、我会惧怕孤独吗？我只是偶尔会感觉寂寞。

25、爱情是容易被怀疑的幻觉，一旦被识破就自动灰飞烟灭。

26、快乐的流泪。

27、在她的心里潜伏着一个深渊，扔下巨石也发不出声音。

28、喜欢的就要拥有它，不要害怕结果。

29、很多人一旦分开也许会永远都不再见面。

30、有些人是可以被时间轻易抹去的。犹如尘土。

31、很多人不需要再见，因为只是路过而已。遗忘就是我们给彼此最好的纪

念。

32、他们似乎从没有正式地告别过。而每一次都是绝别。

33、你的头发美丽而哀愁。就象你的灵魂。

34、爱的，不爱的。一直在告别中。

35、我爱你，没有什么目的。只是爱你。

36、那些离别和失望的伤痛，已经发不出声音来了。

37、也许爱情只是因为寂寞。需要找一个人来爱。即使没有任何结局。

38、会过去的，就会过去的。我们的痛苦，我们的悲伤，我们的负罪。

39、当一个女子在看天空的时候，她并不想寻找什么。她只是寂寞。

40、该笑的时候没有快乐，该哭泣的时候没有眼泪，该相信的时候没有诺

言。

41、有些事情在劫难逃。

42、男人不爱女人。他们只是需要女人。

43、我们一直是在离别中，比如和爱的人，和伤害，甚至和时光......

44、我微笑。在任何我难过或者快乐的时候，我只剩下微笑。

45、我相信我爱你。依然。始终。永远。

46、任何东西都可被替代。爱情，往事，记忆，失望，时间......都可以被替

代。但是你不能无力自拔。

47、如果有过幸福。幸福只是瞬间的片断，一小段一小段。

48、缘分叵测，我们无从得知下一刻会发生一些什么。

49、手指不会动了，眼泪不会流了，时间不会走了。

50、那些美丽的小鱼，它们睡觉的时候也睁着眼睛。不需要爱情，亦从不哭

泣。它们是我的榜样。

51、孤独从一开始注定要用一生来承担

52、蓝色是天空的疾病。。。。

53、有时候，我想问一个陌生，问他可不可以带我走，我心里始终有这种隐

藏的动机。

54、孤独是，在你需要别人的时候，你遍寻不着。在你不需要别人的时候，

你自给自足。

55、已经走到尽头的东西，重生也不过是再一次的消亡。就像所有的开

始，其实都只是一个写好了的结局。

56、时光其实始终超越我们的想象。我们的心可以走到时光的前面。所丧失

和接受的东西，依然要遵循时光的原则。

57、一切已经过去的事的确都无可避免的打了封印，在背景里，暗下去。生

命里始终有逼近的东西，并不可跨越。但随着年岁渐长，开始相信，在人的

一生中，最大的财富：是回忆。

58、爱情原来很像我们观望的一场烟花。它绽放的瞬间，充满勇气的灼热和

即将灭前的绚烂。我们看着它，想着自己的心里原来有这么多的激情。然后

烟花灭了，夜空沉寂了。我们也就回家了。

59、永远到底有多远？我们都不知道。所以要做自己想做的事情。要有勇气

去做。

60、有时候网络像一双翅膀，你拥有了它，就能接近梦想的天空，如果没有

翅膀，就只能在平地上徘徊。虽然很难说，飞与不飞，哪一种才是幸福。

61、我想有些事情是可以遗忘的，有些事情是可以纪念的，有些事情能够心

甘情愿，有些事情一直无能为力。我爱你。这是我的劫难。我相信我爱你。依然。始终。永远。

62、是这样温暖而寂静的春天的阳光，透过绿色的树叶，像水一样地倾泻下来。

63、因为伤口被肆意展览，所以已经失去了疼痛。

64、生命是一座恢弘华丽的城堡。轻轻一触，如灰尘般溃散。

2010-11-02T12:38:00.000+08:00

如何让你遇见我
在我最美丽的时刻为这
我已在佛前求了五百年
求他让我们结一段尘缘
佛于是把我化作一棵树
长在你必经的路旁
阳光下慎重地开满了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望
当你走近请你细听
那颤抖的叶是我等待的热情
而当你终于无视地走过
在你身后落了一地的
朋友啊那不是花瓣
是我凋零的心
——席慕容

請別這麼對喜歡你的人...

2010-10-31T16:24:00.000+08:00

请别在无聊的时候给他发短信、打电话

请别拿他喜欢你调侃他

请别在他关心你的时候开玩笑

请别在需要他的时候给他打电话、在不需要的时候挂他电话

请别把他每天让你早点睡觉的短信当做他欠你的、应该的

请别把他每次求你和好当做玩笑、因为每次他都是无比认真的

你知道嘛?

就算你离开他..

他会在大雪中接你的电话、直到你想挂了他才会说拜拜

他永远不会对你说手冻的有多疼

他会在深夜中帮你背单词、他不会说困说累

一定等你大哈欠了才说睡吧

他会在你说没戏、咱俩永远不可能在一起了

对你说，嘿嘿没事！我等你，累了就回来吧..

你说他要求过你什么?

除了回来、除了在一起

他还求过你什么?

请别伤害他了好么?

他也会痛、会难过、会流眼泪的.......

你不后悔

他后悔..

后悔当时没能留下你

你把他拉黑了

他却想尽办法了解你是否过的好

你对他说很好、比以前更好

他会忍着心痛说那就好加油！

写给所有累了的女孩子

2010-10-28T14:32:00.001+08:00

真的只是有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆。　　

真的只是有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心里闷的发慌，拼命想寻找一个出口。　　

真的只是有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的人，突然觉得说不出话。　　

真的只是有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。　　

真的只是有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己简单的行李去流浪。　　

真的只是有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。　　

真的只是有时候，希望时间为自己停下，就这样和喜欢的人地老天荒。　　

真的只是有时候，在自己脆弱的时候，想一个人躲起来，不愿别人看到自己的伤口。　　

真的只是有时候，突然很想哭，却难过的哭不出来。　　

真的只是有时候，夜深人静的时候，突然觉得寂寞深入骨髓。　　

真的只是有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。　　

真的只是有时候，觉得自己其实一无所有，仿佛被世界抛弃。　　

真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。　　

真的只是有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次。　　

真的只是有时候，自己的梦想很多，却力不从心。　　

真的只是有时候，常常找不到事情，无聊的无所适从。　　

真的只是有时候，突然找不到自己，把自己丢了。　　

真的只是有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累很累。　　

真的只是有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。　　

真的只是有时候，发现自己一夜之间长大了。　　

真的只是有时候，听到一首老歌，就突然想起一个人。　　

真的只是有时候，别人误解了自己有口无心的一句话，心里郁闷的发慌。　　

真的只是有时候，常常在回忆里挣扎，有很多过去无法释怀。　　

真的只是有时候，渴望别人的关怀，渴望一份简单的快乐。　　

真的只是有时候，看着时间一点点流逝，自己却无能为力。

2010-10-24T16:31:00.000+08:00

あなたは、もはや心の私はそれを言えば、起動するのはいつですか？

2010-10-21T00:50:00.001+08:00

如果还是继续保持沉默，

我真的没有勇气撑下去了 :'(

2010-10-04T20:07:00.001+08:00

我是那么地相信你，

请不要再让我失望了，好吗？

I know you're reading this ;)

2010-10-03T11:05:00.004+08:00

When I first saw that e-mail, my heart was panicking. I was restless and I couldn't find any way to calm myself down ;( All I did was worry and cry. But your call put me in relief as soon as you made things crystal clear. Yet, I still couldn't understand why she had to seek happiness from my despair. What she did was really immature for her age. No offence :(

I'm very happy you could be honest with me and sincerely hoped that from then on, you would share your feelings with me more, no matter it's what that worries you or things that leaps you in overwhelming joy. Please remember that I'm always here to listen when you need me and I hope you would do the same for me too.

Although distance and age does put us through a lot of obstacles, I am willing to persevere through the doubts others cast on us and the pain that gets in the way. Are you reading ;) ? *hugs*

20句很强大的话

2010-09-29T17:29:00.000+08:00

1.你的话我连标点符号都不信

2.hey,请问一下,你的棺材是翻盖的还是滑盖的

3.想想、还是幼儿园好混

4.你说你会等我回来、你是等了、还找了一个人一起等

5. 放得下的是曾经，放不下的是记忆。

6.msn的在线率越高，证明这个人越寂寞

7. 加倍的惊喜过后常常伴随着加倍的乏味。

8.笑只是一个表情，与快乐无关

9.女人,长得漂亮是优势,活得漂亮是本事

10.当幸福来敲门的时候、我或许不在家

11.累么累就对了舒服是留给死人的

12.不要对我太好，让我分不清你是爱情还是友情

13.早该没心没肺, 不用现在的撕心裂肺

14.爱你，很久了，等你，也很久了，现在，我要离开你了，比很久很久还要久......

15.人在悲伤的时候，不管听多么欢快的曲子，都会止不住的流泪

16.我没有那么多的感慨，仅仅想有个人陪

17.花花世界，是我太过认真

18. 孤独时，有寂寞做伴。

19.世界这么乱装纯给谁看

20.人生就像打电话，不是你先挂，就是我先挂

I wanna sing this ;D

2010-09-13T21:14:00.003+08:00

宽恕

面对面坐着眼神不屑一顾

挤出的笑容看起来好突兀

我走错一步坠入万丈深谷

还是会想起你的荒唐糊涂

针刚刺在心上血流已如注

背叛了幸福拿爱当赌注

曾把感情放逐何时能结束

遇到你我想停止游牧让爱归真返璞

漂泊会落幕承诺说得那么铭心刻骨

你的眼泪让我无助

你懂不懂我为爱忍辱

努力学习宽恕原谅那错误

不甘我们的爱死在半途

听见你的心还在哭

遗忘不及痛蔓延速度

希望你能觉悟我真的领悟

伤口慢慢愈合再被爱包覆

还是会想起你的荒唐糊涂

针刚刺在心上血流已如注

背叛了幸福拿爱当赌注

曾把感情放逐何时能结束

遇到你我想停止游牧让爱归真返璞

漂泊会落幕承诺说得那么铭心刻骨

你的眼泪让我无助

你懂不懂我为爱忍辱

努力学习宽恕原谅那错误

不甘我们的爱死在半途

听见你的心还在哭

遗忘不及痛蔓延速度

希望你能觉悟我真的领悟

伤口慢慢愈合再被爱包覆

你的眼泪让我无助

你懂不懂我为爱忍辱

努力学习宽恕原谅那错误

不甘我们的爱死在半途

听见你的心还在哭

遗忘不及痛蔓延速度

希望你能觉悟我真的领悟

伤口慢慢愈合再被爱包覆

天使忌妒的生活

2010-09-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

真的什么都别说

彩虹正在消失

我们赶快捕捉

以后的以后再说

你安静的眼神

也有一种节奏

love is a beautiful thing

多美丽多难得

love is a wonderful thing

就是那么爱你

什么都想为你

爱是一种毒瘾

正在发作

你知道我爱你

会爱到很久

甜蜜不必急着说

慢慢享受

连天使都忌妒的生活

安静也是沟通

几个呼吸就够

说什么都嫌太多

把现在的画面

留到老的时候

只要看你一秒

那些亿万个心愿

都简化成一句我爱你

(幸福的生活)

我就是那么爱你 ;)

250th post!

2010-09-11T00:06:00.003+08:00

AHA! At last! After turning from a frequent blogger to a crappy blogger, I have eventually reached the milestone of my 250th post which apparently, is going to be dedicated to the joyous and factual event of me returning back to my sweet hometown, MIRI! Yay!

I'm now in my bed which I missed oh-so-much, together with the little elephants I have in my bed and my quilt :D I feel soooooooo good now! And now, I shall recall and describe the chronological events which happened on my journey from Nilai back to Miri :)
I woke at 10am today and got myself ready at around 11.30pm. I took some time to camwhore in front of my mirror in my hostel room and man, do I love my digital camera now! Then, when the time came, I pulled my luggage down the 3 storey staircase. I think I made quite a bit of noise and thank god everybody had went back to their hometown. The campus hostels are totally deserted now D: OMG.

I left my luggage with the hostel security guard and sort of woke TiongJin & KaiXiang up to have lunch with me @Maxim Kopitiam, which is situated next to our uni campus. I think I was scammed for the mixed rice = = The tauke charged me RM3.80 :'( I should've ate chicken rice. Anyways, we went back to get my luggage and headed off to the taxi stand outside my campus. I got a taxi to LCCT and bid farewell to the 2 guys, it costed me RM 35 to get to LCCT from IIU. As soon as I reached LCCT, it was already a quarter after one. So, I had to check in as soon as possible since my flight was at 3.00pm. When I reached the check in counter man was I stunned. The line for the AK5186 flight back to Miri was soooooooo damn long. I had to wait in line for half an hour just to get my boarding pass and my luggage checked in.

But alas, I did managed to check in and blablabla. So, I decided to buy some chocolates for my sis & bro before I enter the departure hall. Bought a pack of smints too. In the departure hall, I spent most of my waiting time listening to my mp3 and taking pictures around.

I boarded the plane and found out my seat was at the far end of the aircraft. Thank goodness I had already checked in my luggage. Otherwise it'd be quite a pain in the arse to carry my luggage around and not to mention having to insert it in the luggage cabin! It's too high for me D:

I made a new friend on my flight and she's Jovis! :D She sat next to me in the plane and she told she was my senior when I was still doing my A-levels in RIT. And I was thinking to myself "No wonder she looks so familiar.." The more coincidental part was the person sitting next to Jovis was my senior from RRSS, Amy. It'd been ages since I last saw her. I was very surprised since she looked very different with longer hair. I like her current hairstyle on her :D And yes, the 3 of use spent the whole 2 hours in the plane talking and gossiping about atuff you guys can never ever imagine.

Upon reaching my hometown, I was met by my mum & siblings. They were starving because they had to wait for me. We picked up my popo and ahma to have dinner together. I think my popo and ahma miss me too much :D haha, my narcissism acting on again. Crap! AHAHAA! But hell yeah, I sure missed Miri food :D Great to have a hearty meal just now. I feel soooo satisfied :)

After going home and getting ready, my bro brought my younger sister and I to KRP for a few games of pool and it seems like that my brother has sharpen his skills a lot over the past 2 months. My sister, on the other hand, had been busy growing :( Sadly, she's now the same height as me ;( I feel so sad now and that kinda freaked me out.

After pool, we dropped Lanny home and went to have supper at Kent's Garden. I enjoyed talking with dydy and my bro. I feel so satisfied today :) EVERYTHING'S GOOD!

Oh, btw, SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Tomorrow's never gonna come early;

2010-09-09T17:09:00.000+08:00

You all will never imagine how excited I am now. It's been such a long time since I last saw my parents, my siblings and not to mention my friends! However, I really do appreciate the things that happened on IIU's campus and friends I made here. In just a short period of 2 months, I'd come to realize that there are so many little things in life that makes it so great.

It's difficult living alone and settling everything by yourself but once you learn to cope with it, you're ready to handle even more complicated and tideous challenges in life. Hey, it's just part and parcel of life. Things come along and goes along, So does the little unexpected opportunities and people you meet halfway. They're the reasons that kept me holding on stronger. I hope that when I return home tomorrow, people can tell that I have actually changed (at least a little bit).

I thank the fact that I've met a bunch of great friends here. They complete my initially dull campus life. We keep each other company when we're bored, we eat together, we sleep together, we laugh together, we play together :) It's amazing how we grow attached to each other so soon, especially when we're all from different places and all so individually unique and sophisticated. However, I do know that one thing's for sure. We'll surely treasure what we share together now and mature together over these 2 semesters.

Therefore, we must hold on to each other and strive together :) Promise? Even though we might embark on separate journeys after this, it's already so amazing that our lives were lead together to the same pathway. We will part one day but the times and things that we have been through and will go through together will always reside in each of our hearts and minds. So, let's stay together and get through this together with grace! I love you 7D2 girls :)

And the following is something I stumbled upon on FB :D Nice read!

告诫天下所有的女生！

1、千千万不要自作多情。

记住：他和你玩暧昧，就是不够喜欢你。男人真喜欢一个人，从眼睛就能看出来，他恨不得栓着你，怎么会忽冷忽热、忽进忽退？是，喜欢肯定有，总要他看着你顺眼才和你暧昧。所以，对暧昧你的男人一定不要多情，就算他常常拉你出来、天天短信、电话。就算抱过、亲过，也依然不代表什么，什么都不是。不要相信这种男人说的好话。

2、静下来想想你未必就是真的喜欢他。

人都有惯性，比如一个人天天9点打电话给你，2个星期之后不打了，你肯定难受。这就是很正常的一个心理作用。所以，当你习惯了他天天绕在你周围，突然他又远离你的时候，你不甘心了吧，开始惦记他了吧。别相信你就真的那么喜欢他了，这只是一个惯性作用而已。别多想他，自己该干嘛干嘛，过几天习惯了就又没事了。然后他又热情起来了怎么办呢？你要是还没看透，还要入套我也没办法了。

3、如果真的喜欢上了他。

说白了，就算是特别喜欢他、天天无时无刻不想着他了，也要烂在心里，绝对绝对不让他知道。如果憋得慌，可以跟好朋友说，可以上网写出来发泄，但就是不要对他说。为什么？因为作人姿态一定要漂亮，就算你输了，也只有自己知道，他没有机会看低你。

4、想和别人玩暧昧？别，千万别，这种事有报应的。

好好的爱一个人多好呀！别干这缺德事。经上所述：我觉得，女人，真的不要自作多情，男人真的爱你又怎么会对你不负呢？真的爱你怎么会伤害你让你难过？真的爱你怎么不会好好疼你？别玩暧昧，暧昧不是女人能玩得起的，别一时冲昏了头，让自己后悔！

一路走来，遇到过许多的人，碰到过许多的事，是好是坏的也罢，在不知不觉间都成了过去。最近看到了许多人遇到的许多事，突然地想对所有人说，要对自己坦白，对身边的人多关怀，别让深爱你的人受伤害，因为许多人错过了就永远错过了，许多幸福溜走了就不会再来。如果每个人都能在失去前学会珍惜，就会少了很多遗憾！

这个社会太精彩了，人的精神也很容易越轨，想对某些不小心精神移位的人说：当某一天，你觉得某一个与你在路上擦肩而过的他、她比你现在拥有的他、她更让你心动，快敲敲自己的脑袋，这个世界上再美的人都有，你能爱上几个？你能真的把他、她带回家吗？如果不能，可别忘了回家的路！

要知道，有个人每天都在实实在在地为你付出呢，在拥有他、她之前，你不也是觉得他、她很美吗？不要因为时间长了习惯了便忘了他、她的好，人不可能永远理智，但是，人，真的不能永远只随着自己的性子，时间长了，如果不懂得珍惜，思念是会过期的。

忘了你们自己的本性、不要忘记、男人女人是平等的、男人可以给你温暖、可以给你冷淡、可以给你寂寞、对他们来说、你也许是个闲暇时解闷的对象、也许是个寂寞时倾诉的对象、也可能是不安分时发泄的对象，感情算什么、可有可无、现在什么是最重要的？

不要把自己的时间浪费在男人身上、男人不过如此、我只能说现在不是时候、做自己该做的、忠爱自己、

女人，看透一切，努力成为一个完美的人才是最重要的。

I'm coming home!

2010-09-01T23:55:00.002+08:00

I feel like rocking out Hey Monday's Homecoming now! In 8 days, I'll be on a plane back home :) Finally I'll be breathing fresh air from my hometown, eating the prawns daddy catches, hanging out with my friends & family, eating all the food I had been craving for (esp. mee kolo & lutong cafe porridge!), sleeping in my own bed, seeing my pet dog, running around in my own house and etc etc etc! I'm gonna bring an empty luggage back home and grab all the essentials I wanna bring over to Nilai. I have a serious shortage on clothes and shoes here. Plus, everything is super expensive D: !

Before everything I mentioned above happens, I need to go through 2 tideous tests --- Basic Computing and Business Studies 1 which is the part that left me in dismay. However, I'd already promised myself to work hard no matter what, so I've gotta do what a girl's gotta do! FIGHT! After the mid-semester break, I'll have to continue with the remaining exams --- Economics 1, Mathematics and Statistics 1, English Language & Skills 1, Malaysian Studies 1 and General Studies :( I need loads of effort if I wanna ace everything! It's for my own good anyway, since the coursework takes up 60% of my final score over the whole semester.

Despite all the exam crap, I'm still gonna make a full use of my 9 days break in Miri :DDD I wanna go to Merdeka Mall! I wanna eat all those foods & drink all those drinks I'd craved for! >< I wanna buy all the things I need and bring them here! Gahhhh! I want everything laaaaa. Alamak!

别发梦了！我真的真的没有很想你

2010-08-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

我没有很想你
我只是在早上醒来的时候，看看手机，有没有你发来的信息，有没有你的未接来电。
我没有很想你
我只是在上网的时候，首先关注你的空间，看看你最近是不是有更新。
我没有很想你
我只是在聊天的时候，翻阅你发给我的短信，看着你的照片，回忆一下那些美好时光
我没有很想你
我只是饿了会想你饿么，冷了想你会冷么
我没有很想你
我只是走在大街上看到男男女女，好希望那一对对里有我们
我没有很想你
我只是把你的来电调成唯一的铃音，放在我身边，并时不时的看看是否自动关机，是否信号良好
我没有很想你
我只是在吃小吃的时候，想如果你能和我一起吃，那该是多幸福的事啊
我没有很想你
我只是在听歌的时候，偶尔会被某句歌词击中，脑中出现短暂的空白
我没有很想你
我只是想看看你的样子，听听你的声音
我没有很想你
我只是在别人无意提起你的时候，愣在那里，不知答话
我没有很想你
我只是在睡前紧握着手机，等待着你的情话，等待着你说晚安
我没有很想你
我只是睡不着的时候想想你，但是，我不知道我是因为睡不着而想你，还是因为想你而睡不着
我没有很想你
我只是在每次醒来的时候，第一个想到你……

Baby～
我真的没有很想你～～～

我只是很想很想很想很想很想你！！！！！！๑•ิ‿•ิิ๑

Doppelgangers!

2010-08-20T17:45:00.003+08:00

It has been approximately 49 days ever since I started my new university life in INTI-IU. Life's different here. Everything's new. New friends, new environment, new syllabus, new food, new home.. You name it! I believe that I have already overcome the critical homesick phase since I've gotten used to life here.

People think Sarawak's a jungle but I think Nilai's the real jungle. No decent entertainment around here. The most we can find is the crappy karaoke near the campus. The real stuff's all at least 45 minutes away. However, this is actually a good thing. I find myself having more time to study when compared to my college life in Miri. I seem to put in more effort in understanding the lectures and tutorials. It might be caused by the change in learning material. Business is actually quite interesting and more free than Science. Sadly, I enjoy studying it more than A-levels Science. It's less pressuring and brain racking. I just hope that the effort I put in is sufficient to attain the goals I desire.

Since my campus is sooooooooooooooooooooooo big and there's sooooooooooooooo many people around, I always encounter people who really resembles my friends or family, the so-called doppelgangers in my campus! HAHA. Really makes me miss the things in Miri sometime. And there's no Daddy Mee here! And the rojak is different! I have a serious craving for Miri food now! :( Too bad there's no ferries to Miri though. Plus, the air tickets are super expensive!

My only wish now for the remaining four months in this semester is to satisfy the scholarship criteria and live a peaceful on-campus life with my counterparts.

18句让你瞬间清醒的话

1.忍耐的实质就是，你要赚便宜你就赚，你想不要脸你就不要脸，随便。

我能施舍给你的，我给；我给不了的，你找别人要去。至于别人给不给，那是你们的事了。

2.对付虚伪的人，不是骂她，不是拆穿她，而是让她继续悲哀地虚伪着，然后装作什么也不知道。

那么慢慢地，很多人会主动跑来告诉你她有多虚伪。

3.对付自私的人，不是恨她，不是不理她，而是渐渐远离她，从心底远离她，然后装作什么都不知道。

如果她去找别人，那么你会发现，很多人都远离了她。

4.永远没有一个人是你离不开的，现在离不开的，不代表永远离不开。

没有什么是你放弃不了的，你不放弃的可能会先放弃你也说不定。

5.除了父母，没有什么人是不求回报的。

恋人对你好是以爱情和谐为前提的，朋友对你好是以共同利益和消除寂寞为前提的。

另外的人，就更不用说了。

6.一个人生活虽然很难，但也必须学会一个人，不要轻易依赖别人。

这是为了防止你身边的人都离开的时候，你还可以好好活下去。

7.生病的时候，自己要重视自己，不能等着哪个谁来重视你。

等到那时候，你会发现自己不管是身体还是心灵都已经很难受了。

8.独自异地求学，要学着多和父母联系沟通，要学着多听长辈的话。

要学着忍耐，没有什么是你忍不了的，别人再错，也犯不着拿别人的错误惩罚自己。

9.别人和你说的话，不管出于什么初衷，能信但不能全信。

但是，别人说的时候，尽量认真听，仔细回应，这是对人的尊重。

10.不要轻易试探你的好朋友，要不你不是很失望，就是多了个"神经病+想太多"的帽子。

11.不要轻易对人多愁善感，就算你是真的多愁善感。

别人可能不能理解你的多愁善感，也没这个义务和责任。

这样的话，你想的发泄就变成了自取其辱和加深痛苦。

12.在任何状况下，不能玩弄别人，玩人必被人玩。你再有心眼，也不是最厉害的那个。

13。不要去抢属于别人的利益，但也不能纵容别人抢自己的。这是原则。

14.没有必要去嫉妒别人的成绩，人缘，地位，奖学金之类。

原因有五：

1，别人可能真的付出得比你多，只不过你没看到。

2，这些东西只能带来一时的满足，而不是永久的满足，不要也罢。

3，这里面有你玩不来的游戏规则，玩的来的人也都挺累的。

4，你有不如人的，就一定有比别人好的，静待时机。

5，不争抢这些，你的朋友会更多。

15.能帮助别人的，尽量帮忙。不能帮的，别勉强自己。

16。对于喜欢和你对着干的人，首先要客观的反省自己，改正自己，消除自己的原因。

其次，看清楚她是多么幼稚，让她一个人不开心好了。

17.对于和自己生活习惯不同的人，把距离拉远一点，

然后各自活各自的，不影响别人，也别要求别人改变。

18.好兄弟，明算账。不要把账目搞地太复杂，钱是父母给的，不是自己赚的，要省着花。

附：恋爱12条

1.对待大学里的爱情，要客观的看。你们在一起，不一定要有一个目的和目标，

未来是未知的。不要嚷着别人什么都对你负责。

2.不要为了摆脱寂寞，轻易在一起，要对别人的真心负责，要让你的爱对得起良心。

3.对待恋人要信任，要不就别把他当恋人。

4。两个人谈恋爱的经费，最好共同承担，女生不该让男生一个人承担。

毕竟他爱你，不是欠你的。这样，就算分开了，也不会因为钱的事尴尬。

5.既然是因为爱在一起的，就认真经营这份感情，付出能付出的，结果不重要，善始善终。

6.对于暗恋般的感情，没把握就别去捅破，时间久了，你就看淡了，成长了。

7.你爱的人也是普通人，懂得原谅他们犯的错误，懂得接受他们指出你的缺点和不足。

8。男生不要轻易说出与承诺有关的话，

女生不要轻易做需要别人承诺或负责的事。学会在某种程度上，保护好自己。

9.面对别人不素的表白，耐心的倾听，不接受但尽量少的伤害别人。

10.即使爱的火热，也要给自己和对方一个空间，让你们看得清楚，活得自在。

11.对恋人的父母长辈朋友，表现地敬重而虚心。这是一个有素质的人该做的。

12.分了手，就别去打扰彼此的生活。见了面，不要苦大仇深，大方地笑一下也不会死

44 moments money can't buy.

2010-08-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

Here’s a sample of 44 entries that were recently submitted to the site:

Realizing you were smiling the entire time you were talking to someone, right after you hang up the phone.
The warm coziness of my own bed after I return home from a long business trip.
Playing Rock-Paper-Scissors to settle a decision with one of your friends.
When a wild animal is tame enough to eat food right out of your hand.
Crying on my sister’s shoulder. Without the help of my family and close friends, I would be lost in a world of emotion, stress, and confusion.
Picking and eating fresh fruit right off the tree.
The joy of watching a baby smile.
The proud look on my 4-year-old son’s face when he learns a new skill.
The bittersweet emotions that rush through your body on the very last day of high school.
Time with the love of my life. Last May, my husband of 27 years was diagnosed with cancer and given 3 to 6 months to live. We prayed, cried, loved, and laughed. Now, 11 months later, we are still savoring every smile, kiss, and breath. We know these moments will end sooner rather than later, but we are so grateful for the time we do have together.
The rush you get when you’re driving on the open road and your favorite song randomly plays on the radio.
The comforting sound of my father’s car pulling into the driveway when he finally returns from a long business trip.
When my baby girl looked up at me and said, “Daddy!” for the very first time.
Seeing two elderly folks who are madly in love. It’s a sight of love that has surpassed the tests of time.
Kissing in the rain.
The feeling of cool morning grass under your bare feet when you walk out to get the newspaper at sunrise.
Beginner’s eyes. You’ll never see it again for the very first time.
The sound and sight of ocean waves.
The feeling you get inside when you go out of your way to make someone’s day a little brighter. Doing something nice and unexpected for somebody else doesn’t always require money, and often the gesture has more meaning when it doesn’t.
A good photograph of a special moment. It transforms the moment into a tangible keepsake and helps make the memory of that moment last a lifetime.
A rainbow breaking through the storm clouds on a calm, rainy summer afternoon.
The exhilarating rush of adolescent love. Those magical moments of adolescent lust and affection that only you and one other person rightly remember.
The little kicks and pokes I feel daily as I enter the last month of my first pregnancy. It’s truly remarkable!
Sharing a good laugh with friends and family. Some of the most memorable moments in my life have been moments spent in laughter.
The excitement of swinging on a swing as high as you possibly can.
The simple fact that I can read the sincerity in her eyes when she says, “I love you.”
The awesomeness of skipping rocks across water. It doesn’t matter how old I get, this one never gets old.
The tears of joy that flow when you see your beloved for the first time after a 10 month deployment to Iraq. All the months of struggle and loneliness are washed away the second he gets off that plane.
The soothing comfort of an old familiar smell. Earlier today pulled into my parent’s driveway after being away for over a year. I could smell familiarity in the air – the scent of the pine tree in the neighbor’s yard. And as I headed through the front door, more familiar smells consumed my senses. Gosh, it feels good to be home.
The keen wisdom my grandfather has acquired slowly over the course of 86 years, and the amazing stories and life lessons he shares with me every time I visit him.
A first kiss. The sweet rush of butterflies in your tummy when you kiss someone special for the very first time.
When you look into the eyes of your best friend and know, without a doubt, that you can trust her. You can see it in her eyes and you can feel it in your heart. She has no ulterior motive.
The first sight of daffodils poking through the snow after a long, hard winter.
The realization of true love. The warm feeling you get many years after your first kiss when you realize you married the right person.
The surreal beauty of watching lightning strike in the distance.
An unexpected compliment. It seemed like just another dreary Monday morning, but when she walked into my office and said, “I love your shirt! That color looks great on you,” it brightened the rest of my day.
A peaceful, romantic picnic with your significant other on a warm sunny day.
The joy of telling an interesting true story. One of the most enticing roles we lead in life is that of a storyteller. There are few things more satisfying than telling a true story that others enjoy listening to.
The feeling of self-confidence is unquestionably priceless. It cannot be purchased with money, but it can buy you more opportunities and take you farther than any amount of money ever could.
The excitement of a white Christmas.
A pillow fight with two of your best friends.
When my cat snuggles up on my chest while I’m laying on my back. He’s so warm and fuzzy and cute.
Grilled steak and potatoes home-cooked for me by my husband on a lazy Friday night after I’ve had a long week. Nothing beats sitting at home in my pajamas and eating my favorite food, made by the man I love, with the man I love.
When the song on the radio ends right as you pull into the driveway.

有多少情侣败给了距离

2010-07-20T12:58:00.001+08:00

1、短信听不到语气，电话看不到表情。
其实我没生气，你当真了；我在笑呢，你看不到吧；我哭了呢，抱着手机哭倦了睡过又醒了，你在忙吗？

2、共同语言
如果两个人在一起，两个人的交往圈会融为共同的圈子，话题永远都在更新。
而不在一起的两个人，对彼此身边的环境都会因陌生而逐渐失去兴趣，慢慢的，能说的话只有空洞的‘我想你’。
我在努力找话题呢，不要回信说‘哦、嗯、好’了好吗？

3、不安全感
看了10次手机了，你还是没有回信。你在哪、和谁、在干什么？刚刚拒绝了别人的好意，却禁不住想，你身边的莺莺燕燕，一如我身边的花花草草吗？

4、远水不救近火
我这里下雨了，来送伞的是同学的弟弟；我吃饭忘带钱了，来解围的是朋友的朋友。
原来你不吭声是因为你生病了，可我再担忧，也不能在你身边端一杯水…

5、距离产生幻觉
其实我有些小虚荣，照片有时候修掉了眼袋才给你看；其实你有些小自负，认定了的事情就以为自己一定对。
为了大老远的爱你，我拒绝接受身边一切说你不好的言论，什么都往好的方向想。你也是吧？
其实我们都不是对方想象的那样好……

6、距离产生误会
我兴冲冲地发短信给你讲刚刚的趣事，你隔了半天说‘噢’，我不知道你在忙的嘛，所以我生闷气了。
你给我发了八条短信两个电话我也没回，愤怒得嗷嗷直叫，我在做上课呢，手机调振动了的嘛。其实我们都知道对方不是故意的，但情绪来了，总需要宣泄的。

7、善意的谎言
我碰巧和相熟的男生去看电影了，想了想，对你说和女生去的。
你独自去了我们约好要一起去的地方，犹豫再三，对我说你哪都没去。
不愿让对方多想，却因为偶尔的疏忽，让对方想得更多。

8、寂寞
一个人不寂寞，想念一个人才寂寞。
你说，来，抱抱。于是我把自己裹在被窝里，闭上眼，恩，抱抱。
一个人站在夜空下时，你会抬头看月亮吗？

9、信念坍塌
我看到身边一对一对的，男生帮女生打开水送饭，在宿舍楼下卿卿我我，周末还能一起爬山，没忍住就对在地图对角线上的你发牢骚，其实是想听你的鼓励，想听听你的安慰，你的一个电话就能让我安心。
可也许刚刚好你接到朋友异地恋分手倾诉的电话，那么容易就把自己带入了戏，无心的抱怨雪上加霜。
有时候折腾一下，只为了证明自己的重要性。哪知脆弱基础上的高楼只须多压上一根头发的重量，也许就崩溃了。

10、你的真心
人心隔肚皮，更何况我们还隔着千山万水。男生永远无法理解女生为什么需要浓浓的表达爱意，正如我永远不知道你为何可以那样轻轻的表明心意。

当我完全了解以上所有困难，依然下定决心明知不可为而为之的时候，却不知上一刻还信誓旦旦的你，会不会什么时候突然铁了心要放弃呢？
也许只是终于亲身经历，我们才觉悟了，异地真的不是一张火车票可以解决的事情。但是，亲爱的，我们其实是如此在乎彼此，我们即使有什么不能认同的事情，但我们依然在一起，并且即将共同面对。

最寂寞的46件事，你有过吗？

2010-06-20T14:17:00.002+08:00

1拿起电话，按下号码后迟迟不敢拨通绿色的按钮。
2在喧闹的地方，只有自己安静地坐着，不想听别人说话。
3打电话给故人，故人说，我很忙，待会再说。
4遇见开心幸福的事情，无人分享。
5路过一家曾经和喜欢的人一起去过的餐厅，餐厅在被拆除，记忆也是。

6夜晚一个人面对黑暗和空洞。
7想对着喜欢过的人笑，结果却笑着哭了出来。
8对关心自己的人说，没事，我很好，你放心。
9给自己削苹果，想起曾经有个人为你剥开一个芒果时候的微笑。
10看一部压抑的电影，想哭却哭不出来。

11夜晚一个人坐巴士，看路边的不停变换的灯光、树和行人。
12听到一句熟悉的歌词，想起某个曾经说要守护你，现在却不在身边的人。
13一个人看电影，吃爆米花。
14放假的时候，站学校某处在天台上，看天空以及空无一人的道路。
15吃一道菜，想起有人说，要为你学会它，为你做一辈子。

16看见似曾相似的背影。
17洗衣服的时候，想起他为你晒衣服的样子。
18大热天在空调房里，记起有个人，曾经为你大汗淋漓奔走，只为你一笑的情景。
19鼓足勇气故意发错一条信息给想要联系的人，第二天醒来，仍然没有他的消息。
20有人对你说，你真像个小公主，想起曾经有人真的把你捧得像公主。

21尴尬地遇见一个喜欢你，你却明白自己永远不可能喜欢上的男生。
22对迎面走来的朋友微笑，朋友却没有看见。
23想起年幼的朋友，现在却不再联络。
24你说笑话，身边的人不笑，却想起有个人对你说，我是觉得你讲笑话的样子很好笑。
25想要打个电话给父母撒娇，话到嘴边又咽了回去，因为不想让他们担心。

26冬天的时候，在寒风中，裹紧自己的大衣。
27蜷缩在被子里睡觉。
28做梦梦见一个人，醒来却只有自己一个人。
29公路两边树上新长出绿色的叶子，欢腾而热闹，但热闹是他们的，你什么也没有。
30穿高跟鞋脚疼，一个人扶着街边的树脱下鞋子。

31东西坏了，自己不会修，又没人帮你修。
32电影散场，你等的人却仍然没有来。
33精心安排了很久的约会，到了临近对方却回答没有时间。
34一个人拍大头贴。
35睡觉前，收不到晚安的短信息。

36难过的时候，不知道给谁打电话比较好。
37明明不舍得，但却必须扔掉过去有关记忆的东西的那一刻。
38对他说，我过的很好，你也要过的好。
39对于别人的伤害，无力去计较，根本不想计较的时候。

40每天醒来必须忘记昨天的不愉快时。
41逛商场时看见美丽的东西，想要买给他，却再也不能买给他。
42看见穿着情侣装的恋人牵手过马路。
43为了忘记一个人剪头发，更新身边物件。
44打开日记本，看见里面都是一个人的名字。
45有一堆明明不敢面对，却又不舍得删除或者销毁的照片。

46看见一个很像你，经历着和你曾经一样故事的人。

What is Heightism?

2010-06-18T21:25:00.001+08:00

What is Heightism?

Heightism is a type of discrimination based on human height. This refers to unfair treatment because of a person's short or tall stature. Short people are generally disadvantaged for employment opportunities. For most women, the height of a man is a major factor that makes him sexually attractive towards her. Heightism is also cited as one of the underlying causes of the Rwandan Genocide, in which approximately one million people were killed. It is believed that one of the reasons that political power was conferred to the minority Tutsis by the exiting Belgians was because they were taller and therefore (in the eyes of the Belgians) considered superior and more suited to governance. Short candidates face disadvantage in politics too. Out of the 54 US presidential elections only 13 have been won by the shorter candidate.

BIRTHDAY BLAST :)

2010-06-08T22:02:00.002+08:00

I'm officially legal now! HAHAHA. Okay, that's not the point (; Anyways, I really appreciated how my family & friends made my 18th birthday so special to me :) I'll never forget any of this. This is the best birthday I've ever had in 18 years to be honest :) I felt blessed and loved by all the people around me and I thank everyone of you for making me feel so special today, especially the ones who went through a lot of fuss to get me presents and help me celebrate. I LOVE YOU ALL! XOXO!

I'm glad that I'm able to share these memories with all of you before I depart for my further studies in KL. I'll treasure and remember this as an important part of my life :) People come and go but memories will never fade away. They stay securely in your heart no matter how hard you try to forget them. However, in this case, I'd never want to forget a single bit of today's happiness. I'm very grateful that I'm blessed with great friends and a wonderful family. I love my loved ones and the ones who love me :)

Shabu shabu with my family :)

Birthday cake from Secret Recipe :p

Gift :) Love 'em :)))))

生活常识

2010-06-07T20:53:00.001+08:00

1、常吃宵夜。会得胃癌。因为胃得不到休息

2、一个星期只能吃四颗蛋。吃太多。对身体不好

3、鸡屁股含有致癌物，不要吃较好

4、饭前吃水果是错误的观念。应是饭后半小时吃水果

5、女生月经来时。不要喝绿茶。反正茶类不要喝就对了。多吃可以补血的东西

6、喝豆浆时不要加鸡蛋及糖。也不要喝太多

7、空腹时不要吃蕃茄，最好饭后吃

8、早上醒来。先喝一杯水。预防结石

9、睡前三小时不要吃东西。会胖

10、少喝奶茶。因为高热量。高油。没有营养价值可言。长期饮用。易罹患高血压。糖尿玻等疾病

11、刚出炉的面包不宜马上食用

12、远离充电座。人体应远离30公分以上。切忌放在床边

13、天天喝水八大杯

14、每天十杯水。膀胱癌不会来

15、白天多喝水。晚上少喝水

16、一天不要喝两杯以上的咖啡。喝太多易导致失眠，胃痛

17、多油脂的食物少吃。因为得花5~7小时去消化，并使脑中血液集中到肠胃。易昏昏欲睡

18、下午五点后。大餐少少吃，因为五点后身体不需那么多能量

19、10种吃了会快乐的食物：深海鱼，香蕉，葡萄柚，全麦面包，菠菜，大蒜，南瓜，低脂牛奶，鸡肉，樱桃

20、睡眠不足会变笨，一天须八小时睡眠，有午睡习惯较不会老

21、最佳睡眠时间是在晚上10点~清晨6点

22、每天喝酒不要超过一杯，因为酒精会抑制制造抗体的B细胞，增加细菌感染的机会

23、服用胶囊应以冷水吞服(可以第一个吃)，睡前30分先服药。忌立即躺下

24、酸梅具防止老化作用，青春永驻；肝火有毛病者宜多食用

25、掉发因素：熬夜，压力，烟酒，香鸡排。麻辣锅。油腻食物。调味过重的料理

26、帮助头发生长：多食用包心菜，蛋。豆类；少吃甜食(尤其是果糖)

27、每天一杯柠檬汁，柳橙汁。不但可以美白还可以淡化黑斑

28、苹果是机车族、瘾君子、家庭主妇的常备良药，一天一颗，才能让自己有个干干净净的肺

29、抽烟又吃维他命(B胡萝卜素-A维他命的一种)，会致癌，尽早戒烟。才是最健康的做法

30、女性不宜喝茶的五个时期：月经来时，孕妇，临产前。生产完后，更年期

31、抽烟，关系最大的是肺癌，唇癌，舌癌，喉癌，食道癌，也与膀胱癌有关

32、饮酒导致肝硬化。引发肝癌

33、吃槟榔会导致口腔纤维化，口腔癌

34、食物过于精细，缺乏纤维；含大量脂肪，尤其是胆固醇会引发胃癌

35、食物过于粗糙，营养不足时导致食道癌，胃癌

36、食品中的黄曲毒素。亚硝酸类物皆具有致癌性

37、不抽烟。拒吸二手烟

38、适量饮酒，不拚久。不醉酒

39、减少食用盐腌。烟熏，烧烤的食物

40、每天摄取新鲜的蔬菜与水果

41、每天摄取富含高纤维的五谷类及豆类

42、每天摄取均衡的饮食，不过量

43、维持理想体重。不过胖

44、保持规律的生活与运动

45、保持轻松愉快的心情

46、正确饮食习惯：早上吃的像皇帝，中午吃的像平民，晚上吃的像乞丐

OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB!

2010-06-06T20:05:00.002+08:00

I just completed the latest manga chapter for Ouran HSHC! And I'm soooooooooooo loving it! Eventhough the storyline is very unrealistic, it makes me wanna know how everything end >< *fangirl scream* ! HAHAHA, they say the next chapter is being released in June, I can't wait to read about the next chapter because in chapter 80, Haruhi finally confessed to Tamaki!! I wonder how the story goes on ;D

想跟男朋友好好走下去，就请这样！

2010-06-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

1不要只因为你在这边受了委屈就对电话那边的他大喊大叫
2、不要挂他的电话，无论你多生气。让一个男生最气愤的是莫过于让他找不到自己的女朋友

3、请永远对着他微笑，即使此时你的心情可能也不好。你永远不会了解你的微笑会给他多大的鼓励；
4、请在他受伤、失败的时候找一个僻静的地方抱一抱他，把你并不宽阔的肩膀借他靠一下，把你雪白的衣袖借他擦一下鼻涕和眼泪
5、请你认认真真地去爱他，无论你多优秀，多聪明，多漂亮，家境多好，有多少人疼你，你都只有这样一个会傻傻地爱你的他。
6、请试着学会他爱的运动。你可以玩得不好，可是至少你可以对他的爱好多些了解，可以在他寂寞时陪他玩上一会儿
7、请时刻保持端庄、可爱，无论他是否看得到。因为你是他的女朋友，无论走到哪里，你都代表着他的尊严的一部分；请为了他，时刻让自己变得更优秀；
8、请记得每一个对他重要的日子，即使没有办法及时送上礼物，也要打个电话或者发条短信，让他知道你记得
9、请记得每次出门前带上钱包，偶尔抢着付钱，偶尔请他吃东西。爱情应该是平等的；
10、请对他的每一点进步和努力肯定和鼓励，他在落魄的时候最需要你
11、当他偶尔醉酒时好好照顾他，并做醒酒的酸梅汤给他，让他晚上睡舒服，并在床头柜上备好水，醉酒了会喝很多水；
12、还有最好让他知道，当有女生向他示好，会稍微吃醋，但不要不可理喻的乱吃飞醋，有别的女生喜欢他证明他优秀。
13、在喝酒前500ml牛奶，这样可以让酒精少伤害胃。
14、如果他很瘦，就想办法骗他吃有营养的东西，吃饭时碰到肉全让他解决，说自己正减肥。如果他需要减肥，就陪他吃含脂肪少但美味的东西
15、他和朋友出去的时候，不要总是打电话不让他这样不让他那样，那样会让他很不爽，让他玩高兴。
16、当他忙的时候，让他好好安心的忙，可以帮他的就帮一些；自己忙的时候，先告诉他，让他该做什么做什么去，别让他等你等的很累
17、不要评论他的亲人的过失，毕竟你选的是他，而不是他的家人；
18、不要怀疑他，永远不要。
19、请不要对他说谎。如果他真的爱你，他可以原谅你所有的错误，却无法原谅你的谎言；
20、爱情是两个人的事情。如果他不值得你爱，那么请放手，给你们两个人追求幸福的机会；如果他值得你爱，那么，请用心去肯定他、爱他、关怀他、等待他，等到他有一天终于变成了盖世英雄，踏着七彩云来娶你。

You're an apple!

2010-05-27T17:24:00.003+08:00

YOU'RE AN APPLE!

My attempt to blow up the kitchen;

2010-05-25T14:50:00.003+08:00

I woke up at 10am today and only managed to get my lazy ass to the bathroom at 12pm. After bathing, I realised that my tummy's growling :( I. Need. FOOD DDDDD: The problem is, I'm home alone and what's left in the kitchen are just some leftovers and biscuits. After 3 days of porridge and preserved lettuce, I decided not to put up with the remaining foods. Therefore, I made the worst decision, cooking up brunch for myself. The outcomes may vary but the probability of me blowing up the kitchen is 99:1.

But, for my tummy's sake, I decided to do everything at a slow pace just in case something goes wrong. I don't wanna waste food too. So, I scavenged the fridge for vegetables and all was left was half a cabbage, 2 carrots and 4 sausages, guess that will do it. So, I proceeded in preparing the ingredient's for my kitchen blow-up project.

First, I let the sausages defrost. While that is going on, I chopped up the cabbage and carrots. After that, I boiled the mixed vegetables in hot water. Then, I put them in a bowl with the water removed. Next, I diced the defrosted sausages. I prepared the seasoning, eggs and rice for frying. After that, the real thing starts! AHHHH! The horror! I first fryed sliced garlic in the wok and removed it before I put in the eggs and rice. Then, the sausages, vegetables, seasoning and finally, a dash of salt. Then it's considered done :D

The prepared ingredients.

In the midst of frying the rice.

The end product :p

I finished the outcomes and honestly, I think my cooking improved :D Watching cooking shows during dinner did somehow paid off huh? XD HAHA. Or I might just be lucky though :D I'm waiting for Lanny to wake up and have a bite. I seriously want some comments!

May the angels be with you;

2010-05-22T23:30:00.002+08:00

Today, 22nd May 2010, marks the end of my beloved granfather's 73 year long life. It was such a sudden impact upon us, neither of us could accept the fact that he had left that way. We didn't even had a chance to say goodbye properly. All we did was cried hysterically and wish that things would have been better. However, deep inside, we still know that things cannot be changed. It already happened and it's better that we slowly let him go, slowly let him be part of the history of our lives.

Despite being my maternal grandfather, we had lived together eversince I was rather young. We might have unpleasant times when we argue over little, little things but overall, we know we loved him a lot deep down inside. And now, things started to change, from now on, we just have to get used to life without him :'(

It's really unbelievable how so many things can happen in one mere day. Tears were wept, calls were made, things were set and people came. I'm very pleased that a lot of people care for grandpa, and for us. I thank these loving relatives for being here with us when we all needed it the most. Especially mummy & Alfred. They lost control of theirselves and couldn't stop crying. I'm worried of them, I need to be strong to support them when they need it. So, Mummy, Ah Di, please don't be too sad, you still have us with you. Let us face these depressing events together, please?

It's nearly midnight and I just came back from my uncle's house across the street. I'll return to help out first thing tomorrow morning. After I bath and take some light breakfast. Grandpa's official funeral would be held on Monday at 1pm, I guess I'll be quite busy for these 2 days. Hopefully, things would turn out alright, for all of us. Rest in peace, AHGONG, may the angels be with you, we'll miss you...

Look what boredom did to me! LMAO

2010-05-21T14:55:00.003+08:00

I read Theresa's status regarding a proving question involving trigonometry. I was quite puzzled with the question and couldn't get the answer. I doubted that the question has zero typing error, so I decided to text my babe and ask her about it. Upon reading her reply, she told me the question was a joke (LOL!) And the solution simply made me laughed my ass out XDDDD

Being too bored, I illustrated the question and solution out with Photoshop :D So, here it is. Have a good laugh and release some of your exam/studying stress :D

身為男人一定要懂的事情

2010-05-20T23:37:00.002+08:00

你可知道
要女人清晨醒來
凌亂的面對一個愛的人
是需要有很大的勇氣

你可知道
當女人被男人
脫去自己的衣服
一絲不掛的在他面前
是需要多少的愛

你可知道
女人為什麼會背朝你睡
因為她不喜歡看你的背影
如果你以後抱著她睡
她會安心一整個晚上

你可知道
女人把每一次的愛情
當作是初戀
也是這輩子最後一個來愛

你可知道
女人那麼愛吃醋不是因為不相信你
而是你在她心中太美好
她不希望這種美好倒映在別的女人眼中

你可知道
深愛你的女人在沖你發火以後
自己卻轉身不斷啜泣

你可知道
當女人頂著哭花的臉
走在街上
不管是不是有人在看她時
她的心已經快要死了

你可知道
她只會對她愛的男人嘮叨
也只會對她在乎的人耍性子

你可知道
她的任性她的壞脾氣
其實都只是在對你撒嬌
希望你更重視她

你可知道
假若她不愛你
她根本不會對你發火
不會希望你去哄她
更不會為你掉眼淚
因為她不愛的人沒那本事

你可知道
當你離開她
留下她獨自一人
她有多大的期待和恐懼

而這一切都只是因為她愛你
而這一切都因為你還不夠懂她

女人知道太多不該知道的事情
男人不知道太多該知道的事情

於是，你們爭吵，你認為她脾氣不好，她認為你不夠遷就她
……
於是，你們冷戰，你以為她沒有完全接受你，她以為你不在乎她……

請給她一個擁抱一個吻，用你的擁抱你的吻去化解她心裡的悲傷和眼角的淚水。
因為她只是害怕你的冷漠、轉身和安靜。。。。。。。。。。

兩個深愛的人在一起，就要
互相包容，互相理解，互相體諒，互相信任，
否則當你們真正失去時將會遺憾終生。。。。。。
否則美好的未來也就在你們自己手中泯滅了！。。。。。。

希望每一個男人都能夠好好珍惜陪伴在你身邊的女人
她們為你付出過，不求回報
卻希望你們能夠讀懂，能夠牽著她們的手堅定地走下去
不要讓愛你的女人流淚
不要讓她傷心
更不要讓她絕望和死心！

因為女人一旦真愛了，失去她愛著的人
就意味著失去了整個世界...
女孩子20歲左右是她最美麗的。這時她的心地最善良，她有點成熟，又有點孩子氣
男孩子20左右的時候是他最暗淡的日子，這時什麼都沒有，不能獨立又不想依賴，
掙扎著徬徨著，尋找著自己的位置，

所以如果一個男孩子在他20歲左右的時候遇見了與他年紀相當的女孩子，那一定要珍惜她，
因為這個女孩子是用用自己最美麗的年華陪他走過了最黯淡的日子！

女孩只有陪他走過，女孩將永遠幸福下去。

My Mushroom Growing Days :x

2010-05-19T17:47:00.005+08:00

Before heading to INTI-UC, Nilai in the midst of July, I have 2 months to spare. This also kinda means that I'll be growing mushrooms and counting leg hair at home :( But relaxation definitely beats having Chem & Maths quizzes! XDDDDD It's already approaching the end of May and June is coming soon. Whilst putting up with the aimlessness between these 2 months, I'm guessing I'll be updating my blog much more frequently now since I have nothing better to do. I do hope I'll keep this going on till I study in KL, I wanna keep my friends & family updated :D

Okay, for the time being, I'll cut the crap and move on to what I did today. For some insane reason, I decided to follow my sister to her school today = = since it was their school's Teacher's Day celebration, Lanny was gonna perform with some of her friends anyway. It was hot there but her class teacher was nice. At least she didn't shoo me out of her class D: She even offered me to eat. LOL, here comes my free breakfast! XD

And Lanny's singing was okay, just that I prefer singing with background music when it comes to Lady GaGa's songs (pop music bah!). No offense, girls! Just commenting from an audience's point of view. Oh! And I certainly despise children who think their badasses and talks without filters. I only can say that it's soooooo not cute!
I dropped by RIT today to trade my textbooks with Felix today (for cash XD) And I think some of my coursemates were quite surprised to see me there :) Honestly, I miss the times I spend together with them, just not the school work and term exams (Ughhh!)

I'll update more tomorrow :D

The twirp's classroom.

Receiving Teacher's Day gifts huh? I remember giving apples to teachers when I was in primary school. LMAO

My side-parted fringe, lovin' it!

值得深交的女生（男生必看）

1.她很想陪着你，即使是上网，一句话不说。你开心的时候她很想在你身边看到你微笑的样子。你失落的时候，她第一时间在你身边安慰你，想破脑袋想帮你。你熬夜到很晚，她的QQ陪你一起亮着。如果你下线，再登录一看，她的头像就暗了。你知道吗？她熬到那么晚只是在等你。

2.懂事。知道什么时候该撒娇，什么时候该像小孩子一样的疼惜你。如果你是个学生，她不会任性地要求你翘课陪她逛街，不会让没有经济来源的你买奢侈品。如果你已经工作，她不会埋怨你忘记打电话给他，不会在你工作烦心的时候要你甜言蜜语。即使自己心情再不好，也会轻轻拥着你，始终站在你身边。

3.不放过任何与你有关的信息。融入你的生活圈，朋友圈，结识你的朋友，链接任何在你空间留言的朋友的页面，看你喜欢的电脑和书，去你喜欢的餐厅，逛你喜欢的品牌店，甚至笨拙地模仿你欣赏的异性类型。她不是不够好，只是想更适合你，更容易得到你的认可和赞美。

4.她绝不会在你同事同学家人朋友面前提你的缺点，嘲笑你，哪怕只是玩笑。她可能觉得你这么做不对，但是给足你男人需要的面子，帮你圆场，帮你找台阶下。只晒幸福，只说你的好。

5.她需要你的肩膀，但是绝不会凡事依赖你。她在你面前很弱势，常常需要你来把持局面。不是她笨，只是喜欢在你面前装傻，喜欢被你照顾。但是她不会粘着你，把你当保姆，该独立的时候她可以一个人。

6.她不会总是要求你先让步，男生要懂得包容和迁就，不是因为她是女人，而是因为你是男人…但她绝不会因此被宠坏而是会很小心翼翼地跟你撒娇，求你的原谅。

7.她发给你的短信几乎不会有错误，不会有歧义。（她很注意跟你在一起时的细节，连发消息都会反复确定好几遍，措词、语气、甚至表情。

8.她和你朋友一起聚会时候会打扮的漂亮但不妖艳。只会在你面前偶尔穿很火辣的衣服。她永远会把你与其他男生区别对待，而不是像孔雀开屏般向所有人展示美丽。

9.看到女人围着你转，她会吃醋。那些女人很优秀，她更容易吃醋，但是不会无理取闹，兴师问罪。她关心你，在乎你，想要抓住你。只要你肯耐下心，不要吝惜让她安心的话，她需要的只是一句别人听不到只有她能听的话。

10.她也许有很多异性朋友，也许不乏追求者。但是她会明确告诉他们她喜欢的是你，而不是拿这些人的优点与你比较。她会时不时告诉你谁谁谁要追求她，看到你紧张的表情，会很满足的加一句，我心里只会有你一个人。…不是她无聊，她很需要被重视。

11.她会很认真很专注地看着你，听你说话，看清你的样子，记住你的声音。她不仅爱你，也欣赏你。把你当偶像、情人、哥哥、孩子、父亲。

12.爱你并懂得自爱，不会突破自己的底线。如果对你，她轻易答应了，那么对别人，你能十足的把握她不会半推半就妥协？所以不要总是说她不解风情。

远距离的爱情

2010-05-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

要开始一段远距离的爱情，必须清楚以下几点：

1。他不能无时无刻都在你的身边，你们或许一个月、三个月，甚至半年才能见一次面。每一次见面，或许只有区区的三、四天，甚至更少。

2。当你生病的时候，不要期望他会端你温水，让你服药，因为他或许在另外一头忙得不可开交。

3。当他生病的时候，随时聆听他对你的埋怨、娇嗲，他或许会埋怨说，你不能及时在他的生病出现，虽然在你生病的时候他也一样没见踪迹。

4。当你一连发他几封短讯，他没有回复你，你开始担心他的安危，不知道他究竟在做些什么。多心的你，或许会想到他遭逢不测。越是紧张，你越怀疑自己是否能够承受得了这段感情。

5。当你的身边一直出现成天粘在一块的情侣的时候，你心里面有些妒嫉、羡慕，为什么他和你的距离竟相差那么远。

6。当你某些重要的日子，如生日、情人节，而他又不在你的身边的时候，你要懂得自己找节目。这个时候，你会发觉身边的朋友，似乎比他来得更为重要。

7。当你厌倦了远距离恋爱，你的脑子会有一刻闪出要和他分手的理由，这个时候，你要让自己的情绪平稳下来，告诉自己，这并不是什么，你可以承受得住。

8。当你发觉自己已经没有信心谈这段恋爱的时候，不要把这种感觉抑郁在心里面，坦诚地向他说明，让他知道你的多心。他爱你，自然会想尽办法消除你心里面的郁结。摆在心里面，只会让你变得越来越缺乏信心，而且还会自怨自艾。

9。他或许不能三时五刻随时和你联络，你有很多事情，他可能成为最后一个知道的人。相同的，他不想让远方的你担忧，很多事都等解决了以后才告诉你结果。不要生气他为什么不告诉你，他不想让你担忧。这是他爱的表现，你要习惯、接受、包容。

10。很多时候，听别人说：“距离不是问题。”这个是每个人都了解的道理，可是实践的是自己。你必须要有很大的决心、信心。距离是不是你们两个人真正的问题？就算你们的距离被缩小，问题依然存在吗？不要怪罪距离，适当的沟通能够化解这个障碍。静下来思考，你们的爱，是否能够经得起这个考验？

当你发现自己在生理上、心理上已经准备好这一切，请接受他，并承诺，最后不要以“遥远的距离”为你们分手的烂理由。倘若，他真的是值得你所爱的人。

爱情的45个真相

2010-05-17T09:08:00.001+08:00

爱情的45个真相

《01》當愛情出現選擇時，受傷的人便不止一個

《02》踏出愛情的第一步並不難，惟有「誠」字而已

《03》愛情是世上唯一可以自私的事，無法與人共享

《04》世界上沒有二個愛情故事是一樣的

《05》初戀通常不會成功，因為都還不懂得珍惜彼此

《06》愛她就要包容她的一切

《07》在愛情這道菜裡，醋是不可或缺的調味品

《08》愛與被愛都是幸福的，愛人的要無怨無悔，被愛的要心存感激

《18》愛情的神祕與浪漫，就在於它只能意會不能言傳

《19》有些人花了一生的時間才能瞭解愛情，卻有人在剎那間就刻骨銘心

《20》有人因為錯誤而結合，因瞭解而分開，雖然終究瞭解了愛情，但代價未免也太大了

《21》再美的愛情，也有曲終人散的時候

《22》戀愛是「談」出來的，所以交往的過程要多瞭解彼此

《23》過多的愛也是一種負擔

《24》情人的眼裡是容不下一粒細沙的

《25》如果不得不分手，也要好聚好散，畢竟對方曾經是妳的最愛，也曾深深地，深深的愛過你

《26》讓心愛的人過的快樂，是當時的最終目的

《27》真愛不只是手牽著手，肩並著肩而已，還要心連著心

《28》戀愛另人陶醉，結婚令人清醒

《29》愛是不必說抱歉的

《30》最美最真的愛情，一生只有一次

《31》在愛情的列車上，永遠沒有候補的乘客

《32》戀愛使人年輕，失戀使人更加成熟

《33》婚前你要睜大眼睛，婚後你要睜一隻眼，閉一隻眼

《34》世上沒有無盡的幸福，也沒有永遠的悲哀

《35》戀人的選擇沒有好壞之分，只有適不適合而已

《36》婚戒不只是首飾而已，而是相愛倆人頭上的光環，從此倆人不再流浪而要相扶持，體諒直到永遠

《37》愛一個人多麼不容易，所以不要輕易去恨

《38》如果能珍惜現在，剎那即成永恆

《39》情到深處轉為濃，愛到深處無怨尤

《40》愛是沒有條件的，有條件的愛不過是一場遊戲罷了

《41》男女之間的甜言蜜語，只能相信三分之一

《42》愛情只是男人生命的插曲，卻是女人生命的全部

《43》不要總是等到別人付出，你才回應，不要等到悲劇降臨，才後悔莫及

《44》當你愛上一個人時，考慮清楚你是真的愛她嗎

《45》每個熱戀當中的女孩要的都是真愛，而不是虛假的愛情

2010-05-08T20:06:00.002+08:00

I have something to say to everyone of you reading this post but I don't know how to start :( I'm gonna do it when I finally have the guts & the right words. Please bear with me.

知道 - 张惠妹

既然都知道

既然睡不着

不如就把黑夜熬成破晓

我为自己骄傲

我终于可以

不靠感情这样过来了

想你是很好

但我的心在退烧

逃假装是在寻找

我明明就不需要

人的心若是关不牢

爱到不知如何是好

你能给多少

突然我就是不想要

逃从天涯到海角

烧泪早就不知不觉烧干了

你爱的谁都看得到

可是我就很不想要

所以我这样放开了

怎么我会错乱了心跳

是什么让我不堪其扰 oh~

既然都知道

爱过了就好

逃从天涯到海角

烧泪早就不知不觉烧干了

你爱的谁都看得到

一厢情愿让我依靠

却不曾问我要不要

FROZEN D:

2010-04-24T13:12:00.001+08:00

BLOG

WILL

TEMPORARILY

CLOSED

UNTIL

FURTHER

NOTICE!

Random post.

2010-03-06T23:11:00.002+08:00

Finally! My new blanket! xD Goodbye 14 year old blankie!

Did her make up while she was asleep = =

Today's me xD

2010-03-02T20:30:00.002+08:00

[x] I am shorter than 5’4.
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/had braces.
[x] I wear glasses/contacts
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

FAMILY
[ ] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve had children.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.

SCHOOL/WORK
[x] I’m in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[x] I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I’ve stolen something from my job
[ ] I’ve been fired.

EMBARRASSMENT
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[ ] I’ve glued my hand to something
[ ] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

HEALTH
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I’ve gotten stitches.
[ ] I’ve broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
[ ] I have/had asthma.

TRAVELLING
[ ] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[ ] I’ve been to Canada.
[ ] I’ve been to Mexico.
[ ] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I’ve been to Japan.
[ ] I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I’ve been to Europe.
[ ] I’ve been to Africa.

EXPERIENCES
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[ ] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I’ve been to a casino.
[ ] I’ve been skydiving.
[ ] I’ve gone skinny dipping.
[x] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[x] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I’ve crashed a car.
[ ] I’ve been Skiing
[x] I’ve been in a play.
[x] I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I’ve played chicken.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[ ] I’ve been snowboarding.

RELATIONSHIPS
[x] I’m single
[ ] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[x] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[ ] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

HONESTY
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school.

BAD TIMES
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I’m depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia.
[ ] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[ ] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm
[x] I’ve woken up crying.

DEATH
[x] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I’ve seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.

MATERIALISM
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.

RANDOM
[x] I can sing well.
[ ] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don’t kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I’m a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have “x”s in my screen name
[ ] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, black or blue
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[x] I’m good at remembering names
[ ] I’m good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

2010-03-01T19:03:00.002+08:00

ⓨⓞⓤ ⓚⓝⓞⓦ ⓦⓗⓐⓣ?

Ⓦⓗⓘⓒⓗ ⓜⓔⓐⓝⓢ...

ⒶⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽⒽ!

Ⓘ'ⓜ ⓘⓝ ⓐ ⓗⓔⓛⓛⓐ ⓓⓔⓔⓟ ⓢⓗⓘⓣ!

ⒻⓂⓁ ⒻⓂⓁ ⒻⓂⓁ ⒹⒹ:

What I've been doing for the past month D:

2010-02-28T07:33:00.004+08:00

Firstly, I apology for the lack of updates thanks to my stupid netbook. I had to bear put up with my siblings to borrow their internet :( Since I'd missed out on way too much posts and today's the last day of February AND CNY. I'll let the pictures tell the tale.

First day of CNY at Kuching/Serian. This pic is taken at a temple @Serian.

We went to The Spring for shopping and visited my godmother's house.

All the pics are uploaded in facebook :)

On my way back to Miri, BY CAR, we dropped by to visit a BIG temple @Sibu.

Man, those Sibu people are filthy rich!

That temple was even bigger than the RRSS school compund D:

After I'm back in Miri, friends came to visit.

This includes Raymond's Gang, Fei's Gang, Basil's Gang,

Wee Yang and his family & Sharon's Gang. We had a great time :)

And of course, our annual tradition.

The group CNY visiting! TUAN BAI :D We had a hell lot of fun.

Continued the fun @KSL, Lutong. Pool and karaoke :)

Had a small game of poker with Matt and Mal.

They bought the chips from Macau, so yeah.

I get to touch real poker chips instead of poking my cellphone to raise it.

I know this is old news but someone shaved his head bald.

I had a hard time controlling myself not to laugh every single morning.

Please oh please, Alfred's hair! Grow faster. I don't want a carpet-headed brother.

It was a public holiday and a Friday.

I went to watch Valentine's Day with Ronny and Theresa.

Met with CC and Jeremy too :)

Took some pics of course. This is one f our faily portrait :D

I got sick and went to sick the doctor.

The doctor SURE LOVES ME!

See how much medicine she gave me? Yeah, they're tasty, NOT!

Someone's birthday yesterday :) Went over to her house and lost my RM5.

Happy 19th Birthday Kayii ! Hope you liked my present :P

Last, but not least. My picture collage of the day :D

I usually update more via twitter and facebook. Please do follow me on twitter to check for my more recent updates :) For pics and clicks, it's all on facebook :)
Happy CHAPGORMEI everyone and HELLO MARCH 2010!!

2010-02-11T21:47:00.004+08:00

I'm

leaving

for

Kuching

6 hours.

AND

HAVEN'T

PACK

YET !!

AHHHHHH

222nd post :p

2010-02-10T18:40:00.003+08:00

For the past two days, I'd been spending my day at mum's office. The only reason I was stuck there was because my youngest uncle went back to Kuching earlier. Leaving my mum with shortage with helpers in the shop. She wanted me to be there to look after the shop when nobody's there. However, all I did was facebooking, twittering and MSN-ing. Broadband connection is super slow :( And it keeps disconnecting. I had no other choice, it's crappy connection to none. Of course I chose to bear with the lousy connection, otherwise, I'm stuck with newspapers and talking to random uncles and aunties.
I was supposed to go out with Baby Theresa today with the others but due to my mum's denial. I had to stay in the shop. I was looking forward to today for a whole week and suddenly, my mum says no :( Theresa promised to come visit me at the shop yesterday and I had my hopes up. They told me they aren't coming and I was a lil' bit disappointed. So, I was stuck with Mousehunt again. Btw, catching mice is kinda fun XD haha. Ok, back to the story. They surprised me through the shop's back door and there they stood, Shamus, Ronny, "Amber" & Theresa. Man, was I happy to see them :D We took random pictures while Ronny & Shamus tried to dance like TVXQ(lols?) They couldn't stay for long 'cause my mum was closing the shop and they had to go home too. It was kinda nice getting a surprise visit from them though :)
They said about some surprise on the net later tonight which they were affirmative of having 100 comments as an outcome. I'm curious ;)
Hopefully, after I come back from dinner out with Mum tonight, I'd remember to upload the pictures :D Stay tuned :)

This post is untitled.

2010-02-08T21:59:00.002+08:00

I opened my blog page and the first thing I saw is.... Someone did some serious spamming at my hug counter :D Lols. Thank you whoever you are and how I wish those spammed hugs were real. I seriously need a big, big hug 'cause I'm starting to feel the pressure and pains of growing up. I had a long chat with Alex last night via msn. Seems like he's fine there, bet he's enjoying his new independent life. Good to hear that he's fine :)
Today was rather boring for me, all I did was eat, sleep, drink, watch TV and go online. I watched Ayashi No Ceres online via http://revolution-anime.net cause I was too bored and I kinda forgot the storyline so I decided to watch it again. There was like 24 episodes and I only watched up to episode 19, leaving 5 more episodes to go. Supposedly, I wanted to finish them in 6 hours or so but Alfred came back, and yeah, I had to return the desktop computer to him so he could play his computer games.
My broadband is crappy and it's real slow so that leaves me with no other choice to kill time but to nap. I closed my eyes for a second and the next thing I knew, I slept for 2 and a half hours. My head hurts after that :( Dinner made me feel better. Mum says I have to go to her office tomorrow and help her out since my uncle went back to Kuching earlier to settle things back there. Guess it's better than moping around at home eh?
I came to realise, when I was younger, all I wanted to do is grow up, get more holidays so I don't have to go to school. But when I really did grew up, I was reluctant to accept that things are changing rapidly and there's more & more new things I need to handle myself. Holidays bore me now. Plus, I don't even get pocket money during the holidays and my dad wouldn't let me get a part time job :(
I guess that's all for today. Toodles everyone :)

Slight snip :)

2010-02-07T21:35:00.002+08:00

Today, I went to trim off my fringe. And Eva helped me to trim my fringe and cut Alfred's hair. Her charges altogether for both of us is RM8. Hahaha. That's really cheap. And I love my current fringe cause it's round and part of my eyebrows show. Makes me look even younger XD Wait, is that a good thing? HAHAHAHAHA, whatever. I don't even know what I'm trying to say.
I watched BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2 with my sis last night. And man it was dayummm hilarious XDDDDD I finished my Maths homework and I received my very first angpau from my granny who's leaving to spend her CNY in Singapore. I'll probably be in Kuching by night time on Friday. And I'mma bring my mummy's lappie and broadband back to kill boredom.
Recently, everybody's been asking me a same question. And my answer is always the same. The situation is as shown below;

"Hey, lifen!"
"Owh, hi, [*insert random friend's name here*] :)"
"Who's gonna be valentine's this year?"
"Uhhh, I'm not getting one?"
"LIAR! You're just don't want me to know huh? HAHA. jkjk."
"I'm serious D: I won't get a valentine's unless u get me one."

So far, Adre managed to compile up my requirements for a suitable valentine's(for fun :P) And it's something like this; (and please take note that the contents in the below quote box is genuinely compiled and typed by Mr. Adrian Samyudia, HAHA XD)

Ho Li Fen's Valentines Requirements

-Taller than her…(most of you are)
-Mature…(no lil kids, sry)
-No Gangsters or Badasses!
-Clear about future…
-Any race…
-and if possible Hot! (LOLS! XD)
-age older than her….

If you think you fit these requrements plz call or tell her… thx fer ur cooperationJ

The one which mentions about the "HOT" option cracks me up no matter how many times I see it, I have no friggin' idea why XD Okay, I guess that's all for today's post.

I don't wanna grow up just yet :(

2010-02-06T21:11:00.003+08:00

If one day, after 20 years, you see me, old and wrinkled packing your grocery shopping in some hypermarket when you're with your kids, don' get too surprised. I probably ended up like that because I couldn't decide what I wanted to be when I was young. Plus, I couldn't even find a proper marriage partner. At that point, I would probably have "Life sucks!" written all over my face, FML..
I don't understand why I cannot choose what I want to be. Why is the society now so cruel? :( Jobs I like are usually equivalent to jobs that are not vocational. That's why my mum didn't allow me submit my form to apply for a degree in multimedia design course to The One Academy. Man... I made all the necessary preparations to apply and she said NO, a big fat NO :( And I was stuck with taking my A-levels. Mum wants me to be an engineer and work for Shell or some other oil company. I hate the sound of that, it has boredom written all over it.
After applying for A-levels, I kinda wanted to go for an architecture course and there was a scholarship available for application. I was very happy when I heard about the scholarship part, 'cause in that way, I could save money for my parents. And they wouldn't have to worry about paying big bucks for my tertiary education. However, mum insisted that I was reluctant to listen to her and should do my A-levels and not to mention about it anymore. Man, that shattered me.. don't even have to mention studying to my dad :( It's always a NO.. And he wants me to b a teacher. I don't wanna be just a teacher. :( Driving, studying.. It's all the same :(
I don't want to grow up... Growing up is a pain the ass. I feel so pressurised over this future or no future crap. It's driving me nuts!! :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

GAHHH !

2010-02-03T18:08:00.004+08:00

T minus 2 days till my CNY HOLIDAYS :D !!!! Hope I don't get too bored though. I'm going back o Kuching next Thursday(I think), On the 12th of Feb.

There's still tonnes of things I wanna do and I need to do;

1) Get my lens from WeeYang.
2) Finish my trigo homework.
3) Get the hang of Chemistry D: (*&#$!?)
4) Meet my Baby when she's free.
5) Meet up with my friends.
6) Listen to more songs.
7) Keep myself healthy for CNY.
8) Visit loads of people :D
9) Save money!
10) Stop buying clothes.

11) Study harder.

12) Eat D' Rocher Ice Cream from dessert.
13) Shop in Kuching.

14) Exercise more to keep in shape.
15) Learn to sing better.

16) Learn how to use my phone better.
17) Cut my fringe/Leave my fringe long and part it to the side.
18) Take loads of pics for CNY :D

(*This list is to be updated in the near future.)

My Picture Of the Day :D

2010-01-28T06:17:00.002+08:00

Went over to Syuan's last night. I started off talking to friends then Shamus and the others wanted to go to the Cyber Cafe which I'm not quite interested in going. If I really did had to go, I'll be stranded there with boredom D: Luckily, Shamus and my bro are willing to come back and pick me up at Syuan's when they're done. So, I'll have more time to mingle around there.
Wei Li and Mike went and so did Amy and Tiing. Livia did popped up for a while and of course part of the Brotherhood was there too. Story sharing session was interesting eh? XD
After most of the people went home, Shamus and the others came back. And Syuan actually wanted to play a 'Killer' Game using poker cards. However, Lester suggested a better game. I think it's Indian Poker, where everyone picks a card randomly and puts it on their forehead showing it to the others without yourself knowing the value of the card. You could only rely on your so-called friends at the moment to determine whether your card is of a smaller value. If you think your card is lame, you have one mere chance of saving yor own ass. You can change your card for only once. After that, everything would be destined. When everybody puts their cards down, the one holding the smallest card will be punished. He/she has to lie down and everybody gets to draw on his/her face. Pictures are constantly and repetitively taken during the process of the game. Everybody can only look into the mirror or wash the artworks off your face after the whole game is over. ANd I must say, the outcomes are hilarious. HAHAHA

Having a hard time.

2010-01-23T09:51:00.003+08:00

After struggling through all those relationship crap, I think I need a break. So, I decided to (finally) move on. Besides, nothing's gonna come out pretty if I keep on holding on like this. This time, my heart felt really numb.. I felt lifeless inside after having to go through all of this shit and I'm so not liking my current state. I need to pump myself up 'cause I don't wanna look like a wimp. I need to be STRONG! STRONG! STRONG! Though seemingly, my perfect sky had already torn to bits.
College work is getting kinda hard to handle for me to handle :( And with my insides all messed up, it's hard to comprehend with. It's a good thing I don' have to see him everyday now. Maybe I could slowly let all the pain fade away. Otherwise, it'll be hard for me. Hopefully, I'll be heading for a new start eventually. I just need more time before that happens.
Honestly, I'm getting sick and tired of love. It always disappoints me one way or another. I envy the sweet couples. Eventhough they might fight a lil', but they always make up real soon and things always comes around. I envy they have someone to watch out for each other and support each other spiritually, not only because they're a couple but also because they had already developed trust towards each other and just simply got used to the feeling being together with each other.
Valenitine's day lies on the first day of Chinese New Year this year. At least I don't have to go around town and look at paired people walking around. Guess I'll forget bout Valentine's this year, I don't need an extra depression attack.
Let's just hope that things would get better in time for me.

Awww man :(((((((((((

2010-01-21T15:17:00.002+08:00

I finished class at 12.30 today and we talked crap for like almost 2 hours in Physics Tutorial cause all we had to do was exercises on uncertainties and dimensions. I feel bad today, physically and emotionally maybe because it's that time of the month again D: I really hate having mentrual cycles :( Esp when it hurts like friggin' hell. You'd feel like tearing your womb out !! ARGGHHH!
Chemistry homework due next monday and I haven't even started doing part (F) of the exercise :(((((( And there's going to be a test before Chinese New Year starts :( Awwww man..
I still have Maths homework and I was hoping for new Levi's Jeans this weekend. Hope Mum would consider buying a pair too. In that way, I could tag along and get a pair myself. I'm outta jeans in my closet. All I have are shorts and skirts 'cause long pants make me look shorter.
I'm going back to Kuching for CNY and I'd be bored to death there :( Dammit.
Got myself a twitter account 2 weeks ago and I finally managed to verify my account just now, those who tweets, follow me on twitter :DDDDDDDD Haha.
Btw, I read Arn's e-mail just now when I was cleaning up my msn inbox. Man, I hate spam. It drives me crazy. And it hid Arn's e-mail. Hope he doesn't get mad for the late reply.
I apologise for the lackage of updates. I feel less prompted to update my blog nowadays partially because of my lousy, crappy netbook and mostly because I'm friggin' lazy to do so. And I don't really camwhore anymore because I don't really know how to handle my phone camera.
Well, I guess that's all for now. Check out my FB for more recent updates.

I'm single again.

2010-01-10T15:28:00.002+08:00

My baby has a new boyfriend. So, that makes me single again. But, she says that she still loves me so I'm didn't really felt abandoned. My best wishes to her and him :) Hope they have a happy & unforgettable relationship together :D
About the performance on Orientation Night, I think I did ok :) I was scared before onstage but I guessed everything turned out alrite :)))))) YAAAY! If anyone of you is wondering, I sang Zhen de by Angela Chang.
My mum bought me a Blackberry B9000! XD YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
My dad got me a new air-conditioner! Double YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (finally no sauna-ed room)

Killing time;

2010-01-08T08:41:00.002+08:00

I'm in the RIT computer lab now & am waiting for Critical thinking class at 9am to start now. I feel like sleeping & my eyes effin' hurts. Tonight's the Orientation dinner night & I'm not really ready to sing :( FML. Owh, something random here... I hate the fact that some people acts differently in front of other people. When it's only two of us, he/she is okay/good/easy to get along with. However, when some new guy/girl pops up and your particular friend wants to get along with this particular guy/girl, he/she somehow ditches you for this guy/girl and makes you look bad in front of people. Dang it!
Life is unfair. So I'd just have to get along and somehow catch up with the speedy flow of how things changes oh so instantaneously. Otherwise, I'd end up bad, REAL bad. No PR, no future, no aim. I don't want that D: ! Class starting soon, so toodles. Wish me luck in the performance tonight.

College life;

2010-01-06T20:48:00.002+08:00

Orientation just ended yesterday & guess what? I learnt from the rules that coloured hair isn't allowed. However, judging by the seniors' appearance, I thought it was allowed.. Initially. I think the beloved CEO wasn't quite happy with my new hairstyle :( So, just in case anything bad happens to me again, I dyed my hair black. REALLY REALLY GOD DAMN EFFIN' BLACK! It made me look punky and has large hair volume, that;s a good thing.. I guess.
I made some new friends and met some old friends & acquaintances in RIT. I felt good making new friends :) Owh, by the way, the riam tech t-shirt is too big for me D: Though it's already S-size TT And I kinda miss having lunch at RRSS already. Having lunch there now seems very weird now 'cause everyone shots us with an eerie look, like outcasts :( And unfortunately, that's true..
Well, I attended Maths, Physics & Chem class today. I guess the classes are ok but I really can't help feeling stressed and hyped about the AS & A2 exams coming soon :( Shit... I'm gonna flunk everything if I don't start working my ass off. If I friggin' failed, I'm so gonna kiss my sorry ass goodbye to uni life.
The orientation dinner is this friday night and the school authorities made it compulsory for all the freshmen to attend it. Jeans are allowed :D Haha. And Mr. Chan offered me to sing that night. That got me really hyped and excited. I'd gotta brush up my singing a little more since it's gonna be really embarrassing if something goes wrong. I definitely don't want THAT to happen. I have a strong ego D: Can't wait :o

2 0 1 0 ;

2010-01-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

My very first post for 2010 :) I'd been rather busy for the past few days. And did I counted down yesterday? Yes, I effin' did. I was at Boulevard 'cause Alfred's having a dance competition there and the results would only be announced during midnight. I had a hard time waiting there ok? The place was friggin' crowded with people, it was so damn hot there D: I only managed to reach home at 2.30am in the morning and man was I tired !! Guess I'm just not cut out for night life huh? Karaoke is fine but clubbing? Oh no, count me out! I'd get myself into deep shit the next morning. I get drunk easily and alcohol triggers my migraine attacks.. I'll stick to Shandy D:
I dragged myself outta bed at 9.30am and went out with mum for breakfast only to find out that all the kopitiams are closed around senadin & lutong 'cause it's a new year. Man were we lucky D: So, we're stuck with Mi Goreng.. HAHA. But it's okay cause everyone was too excited to go for swimming at Eastwood :D It was fun. Yeah, So.. I'll skip the details. We had lunch at 2.45pm. Location, Double Star. The Chicken Alfredo really suits my appetite, delicious :) After that, we walked to David's Snooker. Alfred & Peter played a round. Sharon & I saw Penny there when we went to the toilet :D Chatted for a while with her. Later, we walked to Siong Lee to browse around 'cause we were bored. Shamus went to pick us up after that. So, we went home.
His parents are out of town so he had no plans at night. So, they planned to watch SAW VI together at night. So, we went to Boulevard to get the DVD from Chop Soon Seng and I got the Chipmunks Squeekquel Soundtrack :) I'm so loving the Chippette's version of Hot N' Cold, it's just so cute !!! XD It's in my car now :D Hope dad doesn't get too surprised D: SAW VI was disgusting but I liked it. It actually made me pay attention to it. I didn't close my eyes at the scary parts ! 'Cause I really couldn't miss a bit of it. It's good :D
Owh, and school's starting soon :( I'm going to be in college in 2 days time D: Orientation week.. Here I come!

Sponsored Pedicure on New year's Eve :) Thanks Bok Mu!

Finally I meet Kat :)

Niu Niu loves me more :D

Chea Arn & I before he leaves the next day.

BOREDOM KILLS D:

2009-12-28T21:05:00.002+08:00

My mum friggin' woke me up when I was in the middle of dreaming about pink race cars 6:59am in the morning D: Dammit! She told me that dad wants me in the office today 'cause my uncle's out of town, fml x( I didn't had enough sleep last night 'cause I had to wait for Alfred to come home last night :(((((((((((( Man, my eyes wanted to close up so badly but I had to drag myself outta bed. My dad would kill me alive if I didn't show up to help out.
After breakfast with the parents, Alfred & Sharon. Mum dropped me off at the shop, alone, with her 3 workers and they were like laughing at my morning-don't-meddle-with-me-or-else look. And it was only 8:30am. Crap, the wtfness! I had to spend the whole day there. Thank god I have newspapers and internet there. Otherwise, I think I'd be growing mushrooms. I only actually did something in the afternoon, issueing insurance covernotes and sorting out the official receipts. Other than that, you'd see me on facebook & msn or reading newspapers outside.
I think the same thing's gonna happen tomorrow. I sure hope that Theresa can go out tomorrow afternoon, I missed her so so much.

2009 is almost over!

2009-12-27T18:42:00.003+08:00

I'd been really really busy today and I'm tired now D; Well, in the morning, I had a 3 hour swim at Eastwood Valley Country Club with Ka Yii, Sharon, Alfred, Peter, Lanny, mummy and auntie. It must say that a good swim did made me relaxed a bit after what I'd been through. I feel so relaxed when I hold my breath underwater. If only I could pause time at that moment and don't die of oxygen lackage. Everything just looks prettier underwater, everything's just so much more wonderful 'cause of the silentness and serenity water could offer. Too bad I'm a rookie swimmer, I need to swim more D;
After that, we dropped the boys of at Fitline Studio for dance practice and went to Bintang Cineplex to catch the Chipmunks movie. Luckily, we bought the tickets early, it'd been sold out if we went there late. The movie was just simply hilarious & cute. Theodore & Eleanor looks so cute together! :3

Lately, I've seeing too many images of you, many things remind me of everything you ever had with me. I couldn't help it.. :'( Please let go of me, you know I couldn't really give up even if I tried too. Just forget about me!

The day after x'mas :)

2009-12-26T21:22:00.004+08:00

I went to a lot of places today :D In the morning, I went for breakfast at Pelita Hai Ma Food Court with mummy and Alfred. I seriously dig the bihun soup there though I'd prefer a saltier version of it. The taste of the pork chunks in the soup is definitely priceless! And not to mention the huge portion of servings (for me laaa!) xD I couldn't finish one bowl, too bad I couldn't finish one entire bowl myself :( After that, we dropped Alfred off at RRSS for his lion dance practice. Then, mum & I went back to the shop to look over the shop since dad and uncle are out of town. I was worrying that it'd be a dull morning and I was proved wrong when auntie called! She said she left Ka Yii at my house but I'm not home D: She asked my mum if she wanted to go out for breakfast. Mum said ok, I'm guessing she just want to escape from work though :D Haha.
My aunt went back to my house to pick Ka Yii to meet my mum & I for breakfast. We waited for her at our shop. She picked us up and we headed to Mdm Wee Food Court for breakfast. After that, Ka Yii went to my shop with me. We chit chatted for quite a long while then her mum came to pick her again. She needs to go to the police station to make a report since she was involved in a slight accident yesterday. So, I kept myself busy online during her absence. She came back when my mum went to pick Alfred & Peter.
After that, the 5 of us went to X-cuisine for lunch. Ka Yii & I shared a bowl of claypot rice. It was yummy :P I'm growing blubber! Ahhhhhh D: The Honey Lemon was nice too :) And the chicken wings were really tasty too!

My Honey Lemon drink :D

Ka Yii & I @ X-cuisine :)

After lunch, we had to go home 'cause Alfred & Peter needs to meet up with Shamus at our place for dance practice. And about the dance content, it's a secret xD Mum brought Ka Yii, Lanny & I to Labelle to have our facials done. It's been a year or more since I last had a facial treatment. I fell asleep D: Guess I was too tired! After my facial, I found mum at E&E trying out clothes. There were some nice clothes there so I couldn't resist and tried out some myself too. Too bad I couldn't find a nice black cardigan there. I want one so badly D: But I did get myself a nice grey jacket. I love it XD

Ka Yii & I @E&E

Shopping & facial took up 3 hours for us at Imperial Mall and man, I was tired and my mum really did some HEAVY, HARDCORE shopping! 4 big bags of clothing ok? We went home at 6 and I was lying around till Shamus came but Alfred Peter weren't back yet. So, he had to sit there like a dummy for an hour. We decided to go pay Mr. Phua (our BM tuition teacher) a visit since he invited us to his open house today earlier on. I haven't clear out the tuition fees I owe him D: Hahahaha. I met Ms. Tang there, my other tuition teacher for Chemistry, she's leaving D:

Shamus & I with Ms. Tang @ Mr. Phua's house

What's up? What's down? And what's all around?

2009-12-25T14:06:00.002+08:00

Merry X'mas everyone :))))))))))) Hope you had enough sleep xD Some of you might had been staying up to party your way from x'mas eve till x'mas morn, some of you might have stayed up till midnight to send out those season greetings while some of you might just have slept through your x'mas eve. For me, as I had mentioned in my previous posts, I performed last night and I guessed it was ok besides the fact that I need to improve my sound volume. I tend to sing too softly D; My lil' girls & I enjoyed our performance and that's all what matters xD
By the way, I watched AVATAR the movie and man it was damn good.

Remarkable storyline, outstanding effects on screen and not to mention the breathtaking scenes and heartwarming romance. It was wayyyyyyyyyy more than I'd expected! I thought it would be like a hunt for a monster like KING KONG but I was proved wrong, it definitely wow-ed me. I highly recommend the movie to be watched :) It's worth it.
I might be watching Alvin & the Chipmunks this Sunday. Can't wait xD !

I'm going to meet up with Katherine tonight @ Double Star. It's been quite a long time since I last saw her. And my Baby's coming back on the 27th! Yaaaay! I missed her like crazy! Baby come back to me!!!!!!!!!!

x'mas ~

2009-12-20T20:37:00.002+08:00

Time really did flew, real fast! Few weeks back I was still studying my ass off for SPM and now, I'm indulging myself in the boringness of my mere two week holiday before I officially have a kick-start in college life D; I'm a grown up already!
I always thought I would look more mature by the time I reach this age at 17.. But time proves my predictions wrong D; I still look like I'm 12 and I'm not even growing any taller, that's the worst part! You know why? 'Cause everytime an auntie/uncle ask me how old I am, they would go like, "Xiao mei mei, ni ji nian ji liao?" Which means, little girl, which primary standard are you in this year? then they would drop their jaws when I answer them "Wo ming nian shang da xue liao D;" which means I'm going to college next year. The looks on their faces are just classical!
Well, up to this point my post content was still irrelevant to my title. Let's get to the point. It's x'mas next Friday and I'm betting that evryone would be countdowning during X'mas eve at bars or pubs huh? I'm busy that night too :))))))))))))))) I have a singing performance at Boulevard Shopping Complex on 24/12/09 for a dance competition which I'm very excited about !!! The last time I sang on stage was the live band performance at City Fan. It's been a long time since I'm involved in a performance. By the way, I'm singing Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry & Last Christmas by Taylor Swift. For Hot N' Cold, I got my lil' sis and her friend to dance for me when I sing. They looked cute doing the dance I made up :D Hope everything goes well next Thursday night! xD I can feel my own anxiety cooking up in my tummy now :P I really can't wait to sing on stage again! So, if anyone of you would turn up and see me perform, I sincerely thank you for your support :)

A Whole New Look !!

2009-12-14T19:43:00.009+08:00

SPM IS SOOOOOOOOO FRIGGIN' OVERRRR!

BTW, I CHANGED MY LOOKS !! AHHHHH!

_____________

BEFORE
This was how I'm supposed to look like.

Colouring my hair.
I looked like a grumpy old fart here.

Perming my hair.
I look like an octupus/Medusa here.

And now, I look like an alien.
I'm almost done here.

THEN,
After a few minor adjustments,
A snip here and there...
Ladies and gentleman..
Brace yourselves for Li Fen's whole new look!!!
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Are you ready?
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AFTER !!

I love the curls !!

Sorry was all you could say.

2009-12-11T09:10:00.005+08:00

After deep thinking for the whole night yesterday, maybe you really don't worth it. You're not worthy of my love. You kept me waiting like a sick dog and yet, you disappoint me & hurt me over & over again. I'm already so broken up inside and I'm always the last one to know that I'm not the one. Why couldn't you make your decision earlier? Why couldn't you be honest and straight forward? All that's left now is pain and scars. Honestly, I'm not happy bout your response. You always say that, it's always sorry.. To me, everything's really over now. It's time I put an end to this, time to be honest to myself. You ain't the one..
Sean was right, I should surround myself with people who loves me, not people that hurts me! Please, never ever do that to another girl again.. It hurts when your hopes are all shattered at one split second. You'll never know how much it scars.. All you could do was pick up the broken pieces and stand up again.. It's hard to do that alone, especially when everything's all fucked up like now D;
It's really time for me to be strong and move on. No more waiting, no more tears, no more love songs, no more you. It's time to endure myself through this phase where I'd mature more in love. I was stupid in the past, waiting for you when I clearly knew that they weren't be any perfect endings for me. This is just sick.. I'm sick and tired of it. I doubt that I'd be eternally happy if I really did had you by my side. Things won't work out, huh? You turn me off now.
I hope the peeps reading this, regardless my friends or not, could give me all the support I need to go through this. I need courage and time. Hopefully, time would cure my heavily wounded soul.
Goodbye to you & all the pain you put me through and hello a new beginning, a new start!

You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

All this time i was waSting
hoping you would come around
i've been giving out cHances every time
and all you do is let me down
and its takEn me this long
baby but i figured you out
and you're thinking well be fine again
but not this time around

CHORUS
you don't have to Call -- anymore
i won't pick up the phone
this is the last -- straw
don't wannA to hurt anymore
and you caN tell me that you're sorry
but i don't believe you baby
like i did -- before
you're not sorry.
oh-h-h no. no. no.

you're looking so innocent
i might believe you if i didn't know
could've loved you all my life
if you Hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
and i'm tired of being last to know
and now you're asking me to listen
cause its worked each time before

CHORUS
but you don't have to call -- anymore
i won't pick up the phone
this is the last -- straw
don't want to hurt anymore
and you can tell me that you're sorry
but i don't believe you baby
like i did -- before
you're not sorry. no, no. oh-h-hh-hh.
you're not sorry. no, no. oh-h-hh-hh.

you had me crawling for you honey
and it neVer would've gonE away, no
you used to shine so bright
but i watched all of it fade

CHORUS
so You don't have to call -- anymOre
i won't pick Up the phone
this is the last -- straw
there's nothing left to beg for
and you can tell me that you're sorry
but i don't believe you baby
like i did -- before
you're not sorry. no, no. oh-h-hh-hh.
you're not sorry. no, no. oh-h-hh-hh.
no, no, no, no. no, no, no, no

*credits to Fiondi :) This song totally tells what the condition I'm in now. I'll move on :)

The lyrics explains all.

2009-12-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

Broken - Leona Lewis

You can take away all my love
What do I need it for
You can take away all these words
There's no meaning anymore
You can take away everything
Leave me lying on the floor
All those sorry's we can't go back to the start
You can't fix me, I'm torn apart

I wanna run away from love
This time I have had enough
Every time i feel your touch, I'm broken
Shattered all my pieces of part
Never thought I'd fall so hard
Putting back together my heart, It's broken

You can take these photographs
Watch them fade away, oh
You can throw away all these letters
I don't care about what they say
All those sorry's, there's a million reasons why
You can't mend me, don't even try

I wanna run away from love
This time I have had enough
Every time I feel your touch, I'm broken
Shattered all the pieces of part
Never thought I'd fall so hard
Putting back together my heart, I'm broken

I know it's gonna take some time
To finally realize
I got nothing let inside

Nothing to hide
I'm broken, I'm broken
My heart is oh, oh, oh
I'm broken, I'm broken
There's nothing left inside
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Save me

I wanna run away from love
This time I've had enough
Every time i feel your touch, I'm broken
Shattered all the pieces of part
Never thought I'd fall so hard
Putting back together my heart, I'm broken

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm broken
Oh, Oh Oh, Oh, Save me
Oh, Save, Me
I'm broken

xx

Li Fen is HELPLESS;

Leaving home once again.

HYPERTENSION

My comeback!

BIG. SAD. FACE.

BAD MANAGEMENT.

Paranoia

DOOMSDAY/BERSIH?

In the midst of anxiety..

An air ticket back to your arms.

Gatherings :)

I hate the " - " symbol!

Nosebleed :(

GREEN LANTERN

A Constant Source of Disappointment

Disappointment :(

I'm comin' home.

3 down. 2 to go!

Never there When I need it the Most.

The Invasionary Attack of the Final Papers :(

Procrastination D:

先问过我，好吗？

无题的心语♥

formspring.me

The Number Game :)

I bid farewell to you, scandalous 2010!

不要太爱一个人

請別這麼對喜歡你的人...

写给所有累了的女孩子

如果还是继续保持沉默，

我真的没有勇气撑下去了 :'(

I know you're reading this ;)

20句 很强大的话

I wanna sing this ;D

宽恕

天使忌妒的生活

250th post!

Tomorrow's never gonna come early;

告诫天下所有的女生！

I'm coming home!

别发梦了！我真的真的没有很想你

Doppelgangers!

18句让你瞬间清醒的话

44 moments money can't buy.

有多少情侣败给了距离

最寂寞的46件事，你有过吗？

What is Heightism?

BIRTHDAY BLAST :)

生活常识

OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB!

想跟男朋友好好走下去，就请这样！

You're an apple!

My attempt to blow up the kitchen;

May the angels be with you;

Look what boredom did to me! LMAO

身為男人一定要懂的事情

My Mushroom Growing Days :x

远距离的爱情

爱情的45个真相

FROZEN D:

Random post.

What I've been doing for the past month D:

222nd post :p

This post is untitled.

Slight snip :)

I don't wanna grow up just yet :(

GAHHH !

Having a hard time.

Awww man :(((((((((((

I'm single again.

Killing time;

College life;

2 0 1 0 ;

BOREDOM KILLS D:

2009 is almost over!

The day after x'mas :)

What's up? What's down? And what's all around?

x'mas ~

A Whole New Look !!

Sorry was all you could say.

20句很强大的话