"Sometimes, life just ain't your treat. There's no one to blame for and you're standing alone. What you could do is fight for your own rights & never surrender to failure.
Things just might brighten up tomorrow; Just when you needed it too."
Read this ♥
Call me Lifen :)
borned on, *080692* ;
Loves the sweetness of cheerful memories ,
Hates the depressing moments in life ;
Getting tired of rumours & annoying peeps ;
Struggling to be STRONG to put up with the ups & downs of life ;
Sometimes needs a shoulder to cry on too :x
My Biggest wish is to grow taller (which seems to be impossible D:)
How many times I tell myself snap out, snap out! This just wouldn't work out even if he convinced me that my hopes were true. Why does he appear everytime I'm ready to give it all up, everytime I try to forget? Why? This just make s it harder & harder for me to erase anything. All the pieces of memory regardless full of tears or warmth, it kills me so painstakingly inside. You're not mine & everybody knows that! I don't want to be a spare tyre :( I don't want to ruin a relationship-devoted girl's love life :( I don't want to do this anymore! Please make up your mine before it's too late. It hurts so bad whenever I picture you & her in my mind. Jealousy and heartaches sucks and torchers me the most. I just couldn't put you off my mind recently! It's just so difficult :'( And I don't even know why I'm doing this! It's pointless and stupid! As I kept ranting on like this, every word you said before keeps roaming round my mind, constantly repeating itself like a broken CD player. Again & again, it makes every bit of you recover in my memory. Secretly, I'd just couldn't bear to lose anything I can have about you.. Shall it be the most painful goodbyes or heartbreaking scenarios, I'd just keep it safe, deep down inside me.. I feel so strange now, I want you and yet, I'm reluctant to believe that things could work out. I don't want to break down in tears anymore. I had been through too much downturns in relationships and I just want a person who can love me whole-heartedly that I'll give him my all too. Is it that hard to find the right guy? Or am I just missing out on too much here? What I really need is a REAL MAN that would stand up for me when I get pushed around, a guy that rub off the tears off my cheeks when I'm crying in sorrow, a guy I could treasure every moment with, a guy that's willing to be with me no matter how the situation is, a guy that is brave enough to give me all the love I need.
Just woke up from a good night's sleep. You would never know how tiring I was last night when I was looking after the 11year olds in my lil' sister's birthday party. It's torchering I tell you! Ahhhh! I felt so desperate & helpless. Plus, I lost my voice screaming and yelling at them like acrazy old lady. Sri Mawar students are too hard to control D: I'd surrender if I could :( Well, before everything started, Hui Loo & I thought that It'd be a piece of cake handling with kids. But, these lil' devils proved me wrong. And I was really, really wrong. They are RUDE, DISRESPECTFUL, VULGAR, ANNOYING, NOISY, IRRELUCTANT, and oh, did I mention that they're EXTREMELY NOISY? The only time I get to clear my ears is when we play Simon Says, where I said, "Simon says sit down on your chair and keep quiet." I loved that moment! Everything's so quiet :o There were a few boys who kept wanting to play basketball. I stopped them and they shot me with "Fuck off, bitch" look. Seeing me in a desperate situation, my mum came to help me stop them. I always thought that grown ups showing up would mean that everything's serious now and the kiddies would listen to whatever a grown up say, especially when that lady/old lady/man/old man is not your parent, 'cause the younger generation should show some respect eventhough it pisses you off like hell. Those boys proved my concept was wrong if it was to be applied on them! They tried to push my mum away when my mum snatched the ball away after trying to ask them go in the house politely. That was so rude, I wanted to slap that boy real hard on his face! I'd never do that to my mum *angry face* Seeing that the ball is a huge threat, I locked it in my car when they were busy eating. I forgot to lock it though in the first place. I noticed that when they were trying to get it out of my car. So, without hesitation I ran in for the remote and locked the car. And guessed what happened? They triggered my car alarm and pretended like nothing happened D: OMG! You kids need to be sent to military school for good and never come out! I'll skip the hardship of playing games with them and the parts where they literally discriminated me with vulgar language and how they kept spilling things over stuff. Overall, it was tiring! Really effin' damn tiring! Thank goodness my friends didn't come. Otherwise, they'd be sufferring from this too D: I swear, I'd never be a teacher even if I had to! I'd rather be a mee kolok tauke! Don't have to put up with wild kids like them! And here's some pics I took during the parrttaaaayyy;
Mum decided that Bobo should dress for the occasion too :) Bobo in a cute Kimono :D The kids were crazy for him.
The birthday girl. The roots of all evil. I should've persuaded my mum to let her celebrate her b'day at Marrybrown. Then, I don't have to think of stupid games and put up with them!
Me, before knowing devils were about to put me in insanity D:
I just finished Mathematics Paper 1 & Chinese Paper 2 this morning. Next Monday,EST Paper 2 & Mathematics Paper 2. Tuesday, Additional mathematics and chemistry paper 1. After that, my dentist appointment on Wednesday, finishing off my root canal treatment D: Then, 1 more week, SPM! The real thing! GG! I can't believe this day arrived so quickly, oh my.. I feel like I have a tummy-ache at the mention of SPM, I believe that's called a conscience(Is that how I spell that)? The guilt overwhelming me! Ahh! Physics! Bio! Chem! My future is in jeopardy! D: Exams kill! Exams are evil in forms of writable dried tree bark shreddings.
It's my lil' sister's 11th birthday bash tomorrow. I guess there be loads of photos tomorrow. Or in opposite, there'd be none, 'cause I'm too lazy to upload ><
Well, I'm kinda lazy to type more, cause I'm lazy and the connection's crappy. I'm looking forward to Scott's upload of my kiddy photos on facebook :):):)
I just spent 3 hours staring at my Biology reference book & hopelessly, nothing went inside my brain. It's worthless! I had a bad start in the morning. I felt so bad about it, I'm really sorry mum & dad :( I wrecked the flower pots and now our front patio looks funny because the broken flower pots are substituted with water buckets D: If you're wondering what I'm talking about up to this point, I'll tell you what happened. I FRIGGIN' RAMMED INTO THE FLOWER POTS WITH MY DAD'S MANUAL KANCIL :'( I was shocked myself when I saw the crashed into the flower pots. I see the soil coming out of it and I really didn't know what to do. The car wasn't severely damage, just a few scratches but the left spotlight of the car is broken. I should have reassured that my legs were long enough to step on the clutch before reversing :( After all, I haven't touched a car steering wheel for a while now :( The car is still on sale in my shop. My parents didn't scold me nor blamed me for anything of this. My mum blamed my dad for this but I'm just glad the car isn't broken and I'm not injured. Thank goodness! For the entire journey from home to school, I couldn't stopped crying :( It was scary and shocking. I was afraid that I would drive like this forever :(:(:( I don't want to drive like Spongebob! I want to be a safe driver too. Why is it so hard for me? I don't want to be people's passenger forever :( I feel so bad eventhough this entire story sounds funny & stupid. It was kinda harsh for me though I tried to make it sound funny. It's really hard to reverse a manual kancil downhill and up again with short legs & half-waken brain. Please, oh, please, if I could have any wish granted, i want to drive like a pro!
What am I thinking? This just won't work out like I want it to be :( So much for happy endings;
4 more days!
Lanny's cake. Showing her obsession for Naruto.